The Stupid

I'm a useles son of a bitch

2008-03-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

...well, when it comes to keeping my blogs updated. I didn't realize I had as many visitors. It looks like I'm gonna have to start posting more regularly. It's a tough world out there. I really don't want to be a part of it, but I'm kind of forced to. Suicide isn't an option. I have way too much pride for that. I'd rather die of a stress induced heart attack any day. For the handful of people who read this thing, I'm sorry for the lack of updates.

We had a little incident with a fake Jason and all that stuff. It was a big mess. We're climbing the rungs and should be back to normal as Spring arrives. I plan to add some more stuff in the future. I have a few links to a few interviews I did for the best horror related fansite on the web:

Here they are...

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/hysterialives/Hysteria/loose_talk_loses_lives_18.htm

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/hysterialives/Hysteria/loose_talk_loses_lives_16.htm

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/hysterialives/Hysteria/loose_talk_loses_lives_15.htm

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/hysterialives/Hysteria/loose_talk_loses_lives_15.htm

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/hysterialives/Hysteria/loose_talk_loses_lives_13.htm

This is probably old news, but, We have Afghanistan by the ass.

2008-03-01T17:58:00.000-08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3750931.stm

Not Driller Killer.....

2008-03-01T17:43:00.000-08:00

....But he does have a drilling headache.

Humongous 1982

2008-02-19T13:01:00.000-08:00

HUMONGOUS starts out during a party in 1946 where a woman is raped by a drunk sex freak who intends to show his victim ''what she's been missing''. One of her male counterparts opens the kennel and her German Shepherd's come to the rescue, tearing the guy to shreds. Sure, he deserved it. We skip down the road about thirty odd years while Sandy, Eric (David Wallace), Nick (Nick Wild), Carla, and Joy are at the end of their week-end getaway at their father's lake front home. They finish cleaning everything up and enter their father's yacht for the ride back. As nightfall sets in, the fog rolls and makes way for some hard navigating. They soon see a shot from a flare gun and try and navigate the large boat towards the distress signal. To make a long story short, they hit some rocks after Big brother and Little prick brother fight over who has the bigger dick and Ka-Boom! The boat blows to pieces sending the passengers on board flying off into the water. Everyone is accounted for except for Carla, but she's found the next day hiding in a boat. In the mean time, some giant bohemeth lurks the island and is quiet hungry. It seems as if his only source of survival (His mother) has died and the little problem of starvation comes into play. The sound of dogs once echoed throughout the island, but now every thing's dead quiet. Did he get hungry? Humongous. Humongous. What to make of you. Paul Lynch (Prom Night) seems to have forgotten the fact that night scenes need SOME lighting. The night scenes are so dark that it's damn near impossible to tell what's going on. This is a big hindrance to what otherwise could have been a good viewing experience. Don't get me wrong, HUMONGOUS isn't THAT bad, but it's not that damn good either. There are a few decent stalk and slash sequences and when punk-ass baby brother Nick gets his, it'll make you jump. It's hard to believe the makers of Friday the 13th part 2 didn't sue Lynch for his downright copied and pasted ending that involves our stalked final girl turning her back and pretending to be the killer's mother. She sweet talks him a bit and the rest is the equivalent of taking a shit in a dry toilet. You know you gotta, but you don't wanna. There's not much to write home about. This venture just proves tho show that Paul Lynch couldn't make a good slasher movie if it bit him in the ass and sang the theme song to My Bloody Valentine to him. I know there's some die hard Prom Night fans reading this, and I seriously don't mean any disrespect, but true is true. It's not that good. Neither is Humongous. Those damn Canadians are too confusing. If you're in the mood for a violent version of Scooby Doo that's too hard to see, then pick up HUMONGOUS.

BCI plans to release Final Exam on DVD!

2008-02-09T20:31:00.000-08:00

Finally!~ BCI Entertainment is set to release a few early 80's horror pics and one just so happens to be the 1981 dorm slasher, Final Exam. Final Exam is a personal favorite of mine (see review below) and having a full fledged dvd release is something of a surprise. I'm not sure of any extras, but a good picture and dolby sound is ok by me. I say go with this box art.....

...It's reaks of the early 80's (or late 70's, as Final Exam was actually shot in '79) and would add a nostalgic feel in a post nostalgic industry. Anyway, that'll give us slasher fans something to chew on in the interim.

The Babysitter 1979

2008-02-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

A crazy girl weasels herself inside a family home and almost ruins it from the inside out.

A mysterious, enchanting girl named Joanna manipulates the Benedict family to the very edge of dysfunctional family-ism. Hired as a house maid after an elaborate set-up in which Mrs Benedict (Patty duke) nearly runs over her, the babysitter, Joanne, gains the respect and devotion of the family by her efficiency, understanding, and sympathy.

The suspicious neighbor endeavors to uncover Joanna's closely guarded past but not before his grandson (The blond guy from HUMONGOUS - David Wallace) is drowned while on a boat trip with Joanna.

The neighbor uncovers the disturbing truth about Joanna just in time to save the Benedict family from a hideous fate. This little mystery-suspense thriller delivers the goods in some departments - especially William Shatner overacting to the point to where you think he's going to go into the bathroom and change outfits and come out with a dildo taped to his forehead.

Released for television back in 1979, the producers were obviously trying to cash in on the slasher craze that befuddled the world around that golden era. (Halloween) Instead of going to the big screen, the film gave even the most wholesome family a taste of slasher-goodness that they normally wouldn't have been exposed to.

When I say slasher, I DO use the term loosely. Basically, there's no slashing going on, but it teeters on the fence - almost stepping on slasher-grounded territory a time or two - especially during our climax where there's a stalking sequence with a butcher's knife. There's also a few other little surprises that just so happen to be lying under large sheets of plastic. Is it dusty furniture?

Even the most jaded fan will find something about this little made for television flick to talk about. It may not make discussion at the dinner table, but it has that cold Seattle feel to it that leaves an impression on you. Washington State is the American equivalent as Canada, btw. Feck you too! (Hell, I'm not even sure if it was filmed in Washington, but it sure felt like it. )

There's a great fish bashing scene that gives us a close-up of Joanna's beautiful, but disgruntled face as she whacks a catfish in the head more times than normal. I'm not sure of the 'normal' amount of times one is supposed to whack a catfish over the head, but who's counting? BTW, this movie was produced by the same people who produced 'Cannibal Holocaust'. Of course, I'm only kidding.

The bottom line is that this movie is very watchable - even for the die-hard slasher/horror fan. If nothing else, watch it for a confused William Shatner.

Canibal Ferox (aka- MAke Them Die Slowly) 1980

2008-02-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

To start it off right, this film is one of the most vile and utter pieces of Italian trash to ever climb from the cesspool of Italian cinema. The cannibal genre is a mixed array of cinematic happenings that deal with a variety of different 'types' of cannibals - Cannibal Ferox just so happens to deal with the 'jungle cannibal'. For instance, there's your back-woods cannibal types that are depicted in such films as Cannibal Campout, Lunch Meat, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's your 'Brings back strange disease from the war' cannibals as depicted in Cannibal Apocalypse - Another Italian sleazefest made by the Italians and co-starring Cannibal Ferox star Giovanni Lombardo Radice and John Saxxon of all people. There's your Hannibal Lecter types - This type of cannibal is usually based on evidence from real police files. An usually articulate man with supreme taste, and an appetite for the grand. There's also your homosexual cannibals such as Jeffrey Dahmer - who ingests human flesh because they're lonely. I see no correlation between this well formed depravity and loneliness, but I'm sure there's some Freudian pseudo explanation that says there is. Now, we refer back to the most popular form of 'the cannibal' - Your primitive jungle dwelling cannibal . Throughout the seventies and early 80's, there were two main players in the Jungle' cannibal genre that pretty much opened up a whole new can of worms, but also closed the lid some years later. Umberto Lenzi and Ruggero Deodato - Those two names should be synonymous with extreme violence, cinematic rapes, latex gut munching, but most sadistically, live animals being killed for 'shock value'. Both men claim that they never filmed any killing of live animals - and that the producers shot those scenes after their job as director was finished.Whatever the case may be, the slaughtering (or set-up of the harm or killing) of live animals for the purpose of shocking someone in a film is going too far if you ask me. Cannibal Holocaust is probably most notorious in regards to scenes of torture and cinematic violence. But a lot of people disagree, saying they were most disturbed by Cannibal Ferox. Ferox starts off in that typical Italian fashion.

We have an Anthropology student who denies the fact that cannibalism ever existed. She's convinced that mad tales of flesh eating are just that - mad babbling folklore created by the civilized man to give the jungle a stark legacy. Our story revolves around three NY college students who set out to the jungles of Columbia to disprove any talk of cannibalism or the practices thereof. Gloria (played by Lorainne De Salle of House on the Edge of the Park), Rudy, Gloria's brother (played by Brian Redford), and Patricia (Zera Kerowa of New York Ripper fame) get everything set and enters the outskirts of the jungle via off-road vehicle. Right away, things get off on the wrong foot as the jeep gets stuck and they're forced to foot their way through the wilds of Rio. A few minutes later, the crew run into two small time New York drug dealers who just so happen to be lofting around the jungle floor when they're attacked by natives.

Mike Logan (Giovanni Lombardo Radice - House on the Edge of the Park, Cannibal Apocalypse, The Gatesof Hell, The Church) and his injured friend Joe, run into the crew and ask them for help. Of course, the crew obliges. Little by little they learn of Mike's lust for cocaine and that there's more to he and Joe that meets the eye. It's soon learned why Mike and Joe are running from the natives. It seems as if Mike has a knack for violence - especially when fueled up on cocaine. The rape and murder of a native Indio girl by white outsiders doesn't go over to well with the villagers and it's a race through the jungle to find a way out. Not only this, but Mike is also responsible for torturing a Portuguese tribesman to death in search of emeralds. Mike's quiet the nice guy isn't he? What follows are scenes of gratuitous violence accompanied by a sense of sexual depravity and drug induced paranoia. One by one, the crew are dispatched in some god-awful ways.

To be honest, the gore sequences in the film aren't harsher than most gore films of its ilk. Where Cannibal Ferox steps foot into depravity (besides the torture and hinted rape) is the set up of actual on-screen animal killings which range from a gutted crocodile and turtle, to the feeding of a bound anteater to a very large python. If this isn't enough, we have a live pig which is gutted in bloody fashion by the cinematic hands of Mike Logan. As stated by Giovanni Lombardo Radice, a stagehand was given the job to actually slaughter the animal. He also states that during this scene, he tries to avenge the poor pig by pressing hard on a ceramic bowl that was to catch the blood - nearly severing the stagehand's wrist. Cannibal Ferox is labeled one of the nastiest films of all time - and rightly so. An on-screen castration- Hooks through a woman's breasts - Hand severing - Decapitations - The rape and murder of innocent villagers.

This film shouldn't be watched by anyone who is offended by such atrocious on-screen events. By this, I mean people who actually, eat, sleep and breathe. It seems as the Italian cannibal genre grew older, the demonic imagination of filmmakers involved in the genre escalated to monstrous heights. Earlier films like Umbero Lenzi's EatenAlive! (which uses the same music for Cannibal Ferox) also depicts scenes of animal cruelty and gang rapes, but the film as a whole isn't nearly as brutal as Cannibal Ferox. Jungle Holocaust, an earlier cannibal entry by Rugerro Deodato, is actually more of an adventure film than just a bunch of shock sequences strewn together.

Personally, the adventure theme should have been the main attraction to these types of films. The jungle setting makes way for some good action sequences. Going back to the topic of discussion, Giovanni Lombardo Radice stated to me in an interview that he regretted ever starring in Cannibal Ferox. He says that it has haunted him for twenty-five years. Being remembered as Mike Logan is a huge disappointment for Giovanni. To tell you the truth, I can't blame the guy for feeling this way. But, didn't he read the script beforehand? To sum it up, Cannibal Ferox is a film that should be viewed at least once just to see that everything you've heard has been true.

Very few films live up to their legend status, but this is one of those exceptions. I have no idea how anyone could possibly enjoy the movie. To tell you the truth, I think that anyone who even considers such a film 'fun entertainment' should be checked for mental incapabilities.

Curtains 1983

2008-02-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

I remember back in the early 80's, sitting at my friends house on a Saturday evening. We were around the age of eight, and just exploring the gruesome world of the horror film. It just so happened that my friends older brother had rented Canada's 'little mess' called 'Curtains'. It's an artsy version of the slasher flick, embedded with sophisticated performances by John Vernon and Samantha Eggar.

Johnathan Stryker, a smooth talking director, is holding auditions at his mansion for the part of Audra, a film of the same name. It just so happens that Samantha Sherwood is an aging actress, and isn't quiet nailing her performance as Audra. Like most method actors, she's stark raving mad to begin with, and carves it in stone when she and Stryker come up with a cynical plan. The plan is to have Sherwood locked up in a mental institution so she can grasp the schizophrenic tendencies of her character first hand. They stage a little act while she is being evaluated, Sherwood grabbing a pencil and pretending to stab the Stryker. She's quickly ushered off by a group of orderlies and locked away in the institution. Stryker must have forgotten to discuss the fact that he had no intentions of ever getting her out, which gives prelude to the showdown to come. I was hoping for a gang bang, but hey....

It's finally time. Five or six young up and comers make their way through the snowy highways to Stryker's villa. It just so happens that one of the females didn't make it for some reason. It involves a doll and someone getting killed. She was a slut anyway. She liked to pretend her boyfriend was an intruder and enjoyed getting raped by this 'stranger'.

What ensues is a revenge/love tale, polished off by Strykers smooth woman-bedding performance and Eggar's classy delivery. We're treated with a side dish of a few great kill scenes - one of them being one of the most memorable moments from any slasher film. One of the actresses is ice skating on a pond when someone in an old hag mask, all dressed in black, skates furiously toward our, with a very large schithe in hand. This is one of the truly scarier moments in slasher filmdom. Who's killing our houseful of actresses willing to do anything to get the part of Audra? Is it Samantha Sherwood, back from the institution to seek bloody revenge against the actresses who stole her part as Audra -and- Johnathan Stryker for being the sleazebag he is? Weave through all the artsy fartsy set pieces and classy performances and what you have is the skeletal remains of a good slasher film.

It has this cold 'snowbound' feeling to it that actually made it seem possible that these people could be getting killed off one by one and no one outside the villa might not find out until Spring. As I've said before, I'm a sucker for a Canadian slasher anyway. Actually, most of my favorite slashers are Canadian which simply makes me an American who likes Canadian slasher films. I'm actually thinking of moving to Sydney Mines, Nova Scotia, Canada and setting up a tent, or set up house in one of those old Volkswagon's at Hanniger's junk yard. I could cook using the manifold and play harmonica and drink hard stuff with the remaining townsfolk - The one's Harry Warden didn't kill. But, this is another story.

Richard Ciupka ultimately used the pseudonym, Johnathan Stryker - I guess it is no coincidence that John Vernon's character is of the same name. This should be a tell tale sign that the movie was riddled with problems, and indeed it was - taking quiet a long time to complete - with re shooting and all that.
Not a bad time waster with a few good slasher-esque moments. We also get to see a Lynne Griffen sport a pretty good performance post Black Christmas. Seeing her is always a treat.

Keith Richards knows his role

2008-02-04T17:22:00.000-08:00

Keith Richards plays Orville in Bob Clark's 1972 classic, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Revenge of the Living Zombies (aka-Zombie Nosh -aka- Flesheater) 1989

2008-02-01T18:06:00.003-08:00

Once in a while, one finds something so vile, something so filthy, something so smelling of decay that you just have to roll around in it like an old mutt, coming home stinking, and getting kicked around because you smelled up the place.

Revenge of the Living Zombies isn't a masterpiece by any means. To be honest, it's a complete rip-off of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, but it's one of those faux pair of alligator boots that look good with that new suit you just bought.

Besides having one of the most recognizable faces from Night of the Living Dead, (making his return in what seems to be the same make-up and attire. reprising his role as a pale faced ghoul) Bill Hinzman, (also known as the Cemetery Zombie) directs, writes, and stars in this little NOTLD ripoff/homage. For a minute, I was beginning to think the duo from The Dorm That Dripped Blood had attained pseudonyms and decided to make a zombie film, claiming credit for every aspect of production including Key Grip.

Instead of some unknown force causing the dead to return to life and attack the living, we actually get a clue as to how this supposed zombie outbreak comes about. It deals with a semi-satanic theme, which beholds our favorite zombie, Bill Hinzman, buried beneath a stump. Just below that godamned stump is a tombstone with some satanic gibberish written on it. This just so happens to be a stump that a local farmer needs to remove. When the good old farmer jerks up that stump and uncovers the grave, Satanic Zombie Man doesn't look all that bad.

He's still able enough to jump up and grab the man, and resume munching on his body parts. Of course, this starts the zombie outbreak that leads to our little Penn state zombiethon.
It just so happens that a group of the ugliest college coeds I've ever seen are taking a hayride through the woods. There's like ten of them and all these fucking coo-koo's bring with is a fucking six pack? Why is it that in every slasher movie, you can have 800 people and someone just picks up a godamned six pack?

You can pretty much guess what happens from this point on. I honestly don't know what was going through Bill Hinzman's mind while making Revenge of the Living Zombies. Did the son of a bitch think he could dust off his thespian prosthetic and make a better zombie film than George Romero? I haven't a clue. What really pains me is that I respect the effort. It's kind of like taking a good dump. A certain urge to read a magazine from start to finish ensues, and you're off to the races. It's kind of the same with this film. Uh, flick. That's more like it.

The acting is like watching a bunch of roosters acting like Kentucky Fried idiots. The actors and actresses have the worst accent I've ever heard. It's a mix between Virginian and Southern Pennsylvanian, crossed with a little bit of Kentuckiana and squirrel.

I'll have to say that there are some genuinely good scenes in the movie. Uhm, flick. One being when a little girl (Hinzman's real life daughter) is dressed up as an angel for Halloween. The doorbell rings. Guess who? It's Satanic Zombie Man and his quest to kill you off screen.. He quickly picks little girl up and pretty much devours her.

There's more tits and ass in this little venture than Fulci's Zombie. I still say that the only reason Hinzman decided to make this film was to have an excuse to grope as many naked homely Pennsylvanian women as he could possibly get away with without a lawsuit.

The ending? What can I say? Imagine Night of the Living Dead, except with two surviving characters. We have the local redneck posse, fronted by non other than Vince Stravinsky. (The guy who shot Ben in the original NOTLD). We even have an old farmhouse where the coeds hole up in search of shelter from other coed zombies. (notice I said 'other')

The score is spot on, tho. I'll give them a shiny new rock for that. It's a redundant piano-esque score that plays through every waking godamn minute of the movie. It does manage enough gusto in not just giving us background noise, but a little added 'creepiness'.

There's also a few good gore shots. One being Satanic Zombie Man ramming his hand in a womans bare stomach and pulling out her liver. Not bad, but Tom Savini could do it better. Again, not a bad little gore effect. Actually, there's quite a few little night gore effects. But nothing to save your piss in a jar over.

What can I say in finality towards Revenge of the Living Zombies? For the zombie fan, you simply can't miss. Most zombie fans accept cheese with their films and let it be. This should be no exception. This is pretty much a little bit of everything that everyone likes in a zombie film. I guess that makes sense.

I know loads of die hard zombie fans who have longed to see this, but can't find a copy. It was also released as Zombie Nosh and Flesheater. All in all, not a bad time waster, especially for the zombie film fan. If nothing else, check it out for all the NOTLD '68 nuances. You'll either respect them, or want to kill Bill Hinzman.

House on the Edge of the Park 1980

2008-01-27T13:36:00.000-08:00

I never realized some of the bad cinematic choices made by my parents while growing up until recently. I say this not because HOTEOTP is a bad movie, it's the fact that the decision to allow a seven/eight year old kid to watch this Italian sleazefest - That's the bad part. God love them, tho. David Hess pretty much carved his career in stone as forever being a brutal sadistic rapist with no regard for women or life in general with this Rugerro Deodato brute-fest. Last House on the Left left him wounded, walking in a dead mans waddle, but House on the Edge of the Park was the fatal shot. Alex (Hess) and Ricky (Italian sleazemeister Giovanni Lombardo Radice) are quiet the abnormal pair. From the get go, we're introduced to an 'ambush' rape - Alex seeing a short haired blond in the car next to him, forcing her off the road, then raping her. For a few minutes, one may get the inkling that Krug had somehow survived and made his way to Italy. We shouldn't be so lucky. Alex and Ricki are two lone mechanics - Alex being the semi-boss, or the brains of the bunch, using the somewhat 'slow-minded' Ricky as a superiority crutch - someone to boss around and ultimately shove around. Ricky is somewhat likable, as we see his childish innocence right away. From the start, we realize that Alex and Ricky don't make a good pair, especially the way Alex seems to be the one in control. It's evening and Alex is getting all dolled up in his black and yellow club suit, looking mighty fine. Ricky is decked out in his leather jacket and jeans, discussing certain plans for the evening. Before long, a crew on their way to a party need a quick fix for their car and offer Alex forty bucks to fix it. Incidentally, after looking the car over, the crew invite the two dressed up mechanics out for a night of 'boogieing'. They soon arrive at a very large mansion, where a few more party goers await - one of the most memorable being a bald black woman. Yeah, a bald black woman. Things go pretty good at first, until one of the guys at the party suggest playing a game of poker. Ricky has to pretty much ask Alex if he can play, but Alex being the good slave driver he is, allows Ricky to play. Soon, Alex realizes that they're taking him for a ride and scheming together to beat his every hand. Ricky has no idea that he's being taken advantage of, not even after the little fiasco earlier, involving a half naked Ricky and the cold clubby hands of the female party goers. To put it bluntly, Alex doesn't take well to the fact that they're trying to pull one over on them. He pretty much goes ballistic, beating the total shit out of a couple of the guys and cutting up and raping every woman in his path. He takes the house under siege, locking everyone in, telling them their every move. Ricky, being somewhat 'easier minded' than his bugged out friend Alex, just wants to call it a night, but Alex isn't done yet - He wants to have some fun. To make a long story short, what we get is a brutal, sleazy, sadistic, mysgyonic piece of cinema, that serves no other purpose than to shock and repulse you. I'm not sure which is worse in terms of brutality, Last House on the Left or House On the Edge of the Park. I have actually interviewed both David Hess and Giovanni Lombardo Radice, and both guys have fun memories of each other, and most of all, fund memories of making House on the Edge of the Park. (I'll post the interviews soon). Like most rape/revenge flicks, Alex gets what's coming to him, but not after lashing out and accidentally mortally wounding little old Ricky. Hess puts on a pretty good performance and is always strangely likable, even when he's a sadistic psycho. I could never understand this. Anyway, this ain't for the squeamish. I really feel sorry for people who actually 'enjoy' or as Lomberto-Radice likes to say, 'get off on'' these types of films'. Films like these are pretty much a one time thing with me, as the subject matter is just a little to tight - The same can be said for I Spit on Your Grave. I still find myself watching this little Italian dung-fest from time to time, but I really have to put on my blinders and remind myself that I'm not depraved, I just need a wake-up call.

Beware of Satan's Blade

2008-01-25T19:43:00.001-08:00

A few posts ago, I entered mentioned something about the obscure 1982 slasher called Satan'sBlade (one time theater release in one rented theater at a theater in Adams Avenue, California.). It was later released on a few labels on video back in 1984. There's the Mogul and Prism labels. There's a few of them but I can"t recall them off the top of my head. Anyway, here's a few screen shots from the sensible hero of the film (Tom Bongiorno) who plays the character Tony a official Lawyer after passing his bar exam. Aside from them, here are a few updated shots of him that's recent, and another back when he was a Neil Diamond impersonator of all things. The pics were posted on Hysteria-Lives.co.uk by Justin Kerswell, and I hope he doesn't care if I borrow them. Incidentally, the pics are posted beside an interview I conducted with the obscure one time actor. You can view the whole interview on Kerswell's brilliant slasher site http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk
All you ever wanted to know about Satan's Blade.

"He's coming to America''.

Tom and his striking new wife. Congrads Tom.

Tom and the one line king, Al, boozing it up before biting Satan's Blade

Tom talking sensible after Stephanie's advances.

Tom in awe of the legend of The Mountain man

The Boogeyman

2008-01-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

The movie begins with the 'Halloween-esque' shot of a quaint suburban home, all nestled quietly against beautiful lush scenery and ambiant darkness. Faint blues are used throughout, giving us the impression that something sinister is about to happen inside.

The camera latches still on the curious young faces of Willy and Lacey, who look barely six. They peak through the window at their alcoholic mother and her drunken sadistic boyfriend having foreplay (with a stocking over his face) when they get caught. It seems the boyfriend likes to tie young Billy to the bed when he's been a bad boy and leave him there.

Young Lacey, inclining on her sibling survival techniques, runs to the kitchen and grabs a butchers knife, and cuts the ropes from Willy's wrists. He frees himself and runs to mom's bedroom (where her and boyfriend are making love) with the butcher's knife, and stabs the shit out of pantyhose man. Anyway, doesn't all this - the butchers knife, the voyeurism, the opening shot, (I forgot to mention the music), the murdering of someone by a young child - doesn't all this sound like we're in store for a masked killer who will ultimately 'come home' sometime during the movie? Sure it does, and why wouldn't it?

I don't want to give Lommel more credit than he deserves with his entry into the slasher sub-genre, but he threw us a loop - not just ripping off 'Halloween', but 'Amityville Horror', and 'The Exorcist' as well.

Anyway, after the kid knifes his mom's boyfriend to death, we go on down the road a bit, (around twenty years) where we find a Lacey who has grown into a nice looking young woman, and her brother who now is mute (ever since that fateful night. wouldn't you know it..?) Oh yeah, I almost forgot: It seems as if a certain mirror in the bedroom on that night twenty years ago (My mom used to have one just like it - she purchased it for twenty bucks back in the early eighties.) captured the image of Willy murdering his abusive father figure and somehow traps the spirit of the dead boyfriend inside it.

It seems as if Lacey and her brother have made a pretty good life for themselves. She's a grown woman now, married to a local policeman, where she and her brother live with his family in a big nice house on a farm.

Everything is going great until Lacey receives a letter from her psychotic mother who states that the doctors haven't given her much time to live, and that she feels it her right to be able to see she and Willy before she passes on. This takes Lacey through a flashback of that fateful night, and resurfaces all those happenings, leaving her is a state of shit, I mean shock.

Weird things start to happen and people start to die in weird ways. Lacey starts seeing her mom dead boyfriend (with pantyhose over his face and all) in mirrors throughout the house. Willy paints mirrors black in a symbolic gesture.. It's all about the mirror's baby! An old hypnotist ( played by John Carradine) soon gets involved, and during a session, is witness to Lacey's demons. It's suggested that she go back to the house where her problems had originated and tackle her inner demons.

Well, this seems like a good idea. She and her husband travel to that old two story house where three siblings are alone while Ma and Pa are on vacation. Lacey and her husband ask to come in and see the house again. All is fine until she walks into the bedroom. It just so happens that the same exact mirror that was on the wall twenty years ago, just so happens to be in the same spot in the same bedroom. Ok, now that's the most logical thing I've ever heard.

Anyway, it's explained that the mirror just somehow never got thrown out and crap begins to happen. Lacey sees pantyhose man in the mirror and bashes it all to hell. Like any normal person, Lacey's husband puts all the pieces of the broken mirror in a paper bag and they take it back home with them.

After they leave, one of the weirdest death scenes in horror film history happens. If by some chance someone reading this review hasn't seen it yet, I'm not going to give it away, but let's just say that three siblings die in about thirty seconds, via some kick ass ways.

To make a long story short, throw in a little bit of a possession flick, mixed with another sub genre, into a big bowl of slasherness, and you'll ultimately end up with, 'The Boogeyman.'

Throw in a priest who tries to fight the menacing spirit of the pantyhose man, along with a mute brother who finally builds up enough strength to speak during the traumatic ending and you pretty much have it. Dammit, throw in a dumpy shot-on-video look (I have the old vhs copy) and THEN you'll have it.

I think I'm done. Wait, I said that looking into a mirror. So, did I actually say that backwards?

High Tension (aka Switchblade Romance (2003)

2008-01-21T19:41:00.000-08:00

I can't really pin point why, but High Tension is one of the most disturbing slasher films I've seen in quite some time. The uncut version has quite a few brutal scenes that aren't for the squeamish. I felt weird for about a week afterwards to tell you the truth. Was it the scene involving some sicko giving himself oral pleasure by means of decapitated head? Was it the brutal killing of 'Dad'? The almost unheard of child death? I'd say it's all of the above.

Slasher film are meant to create a public reaction. Alexandre Aja certainly accomplished what he set out to do. An American family have moved to France, still getting use to all the little differences. Alexia has befriended Marie and decides to have her stay the week-end at her family's house.

By this point, the movie has almost a psycho-perverted feel to it already. During the opening scene, a man in a dirty old truck pleasures himself with a severed head. He's mumbling something in French the whole time, simply throwing the head out the window when he's finished. Needless to say this is a very powerful scene. This, to me, set the mood for the entire film. There was always this hidden perverted undertone all the way throughout that made me feel uneasy.

Just as everyone goes to sleep, Marie decides to put on her head-set and have herself a little masturbation session. Marie fingers to the groove and is probably thinking about her friend Alexia. (Earlier, she spied on her while she was taking a shower.) Just as she climaxes, the same killer we see at the beginning of the film hurries up the driveway in his old rusty truck. He knocks on the door. Dad wonders who the hell it is and answers the door. Psycho-perv slices Dad's throat and violently crushes his head with a large chest.

He violently kills mom and Alexia's son via shotgun, but decides to spare Alexia by gagging her and tying her up. Marie stealthily maneuveres around the house undetected, trying not to make a noise. Finally, the killer carries Alexia outside and throws her in the back of rhe truck. Somehow, Marie ends up in the back with her friend as the killer drives her to some unknown destination.

Hight Tension is just that. It maintains a constant level of tension. You're always wondering what's going to happen next. Who's going to get beheaded or have their face bludgeoned violently? What perverted things is this psycho-perv going to do to these innocent girls?

As I mentioned earlier, this film has a number of perverted undertones but never really shows us anything we haven't seen before. (Although, the severed head giving head scene made me cringe. I haven't did that in a long time) It's funny how that one scene opened up the door for things to seem more sexually charged than they really are.

Anyway, you can't really say too much more about it without giving away the ending. Some people absolutely despise the ending. Me, personally? I love it. I think it capped it off really well pending the subject matter anyway. I think it was a brave wraparound if you ask me. To be honest, I'm not real sure if the ending was originially in the script, or if it was tacked on by the producers. Either way, I think it works. Some people see it as a copout, I see it as a venue to a whole box of unanswered questions. This is one of those rare occasions where some things are better left unsaid. I think it's more fitting for the viewer to actually try and grasp what they've seen, but keep an open mind. We delve deep into a mind that becomes more corrupt as sex makes its way into the picture. This being evident, it's hard to deny the very risky subject matter and feel a little tarnished by it. Think New York Ripper. Fulci gave us gore, death, and sex all in one basket. It's almost too much to handle at once. The same can be said for High Tension, except on a lower scale.

The score captures the foreign aspect which I thought worked really well. It made things seem almost exotic and even more hopeless. Sometimes the foreign feel to an over seas production hinders things, but in this case, it enhances the mood of the story. Let me just say without giving everything away that the filmmakers (or whomever) didn't give us a conventional reveal. They gave us so many welcomed cliche's throughout the film, but totally side stepped what they were doing and lead us into a brick wall.

Should you watch High Tension? If you're a fan of the old school slasher film, I don't see how you could possibly go wrong in watching it. The ending may or may not be your cup of tea, but there's no denying it's affect.

Graduation Day 1981

2008-01-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

Spoilers Below

I'm straddling the fence on this little slasher attempt. I get the idea that Herb Freed, director, (now there's a name) thought he had himself a slasher gem on his hands. This film takes itself way too seriously, but does deliver on a few levels, but mediocre at best.

Good old stand-by Chris George (Pieces, The Gates of Hell,) is an overbearing track and field coach and likes to push his students over the edge. He must have pushed a little too hard because one girl decides to 'give up the ghost' during a public track meet, falling over dead from an apparent heart attack due to over exertion. Uh oh! We just know that someone has got to avenge the girl's death, and much to our expectations, someone does.

Whomever it may be is doing away with people on the track team, donning a sweat suit, giallio-esque black gloves, and a stopwatch. It seems as if the killer times his victims deaths- from the time he spots them, (he/she hitting the button) until the murder is over. The spontaneous killer tries to orchestrate his kills in under thirty seconds, the same amount of time our little female track star had to please the coach's demand for a fast time

Graduation Day is filled with would-be red herrings, but none of them play out too extensively. The formulaic layout of the slasher film in the earliest of the 80's was still in its infancy so-to-speak, so Chris George's character COULD have been conceived as being the killer. (Although we find out later he's not, when he's confronted by the killer)

I'll give Herb Freed SOME credit. I'll not detract from his wanton slasher 'masterpiece'. There are some very decent shots that present themselves in subtle ways throughout the film, but it was quiet hard to enjoy my old RCA vhs and its constant glare throughout. It's like watching a movie through a sunlit riddled window, a light haze hovering above everything.

Hey, I almost forgot big sister (who is in the Navy, doesn't get along with her father, and is 'tough as nails') and the mock Friday the 13th scene - ala Annie being given a ride by a husky old truck driver, as this time, its the big sister of the fallen track star making her way home for her sisters funeral. Is it big sis in a rage?

We also have Kevin. He's probably one of the ugliest individuals I've ever seen. He looks like someone the casting agents picked up off the streets, decided to shave, and ultimately give the part as a mourning boyfriend who planned to marry 'track girl' on 'Graduation Day'. To be totally honest, it's not real hard to guess who the killer is. He does have a unique, albeit cheesy way of offing his victims. We have one chic getting murdered in the girls locker-room. The last time I checked, it's pretty much hard to kill someone in a school without getting caught, nevertheless, slasher films don't make room for much continuity, so there's not much to pick at if one has conceived this idea from the get-go.

I'm not totally gonna diss Graduation Day. It has its flaws, but it also has its moments. There's some really good chase scenes entwined with some off-beat atmosphere, and a few original murders - Like a spike horizontally stuck through a football, thrown in a perfect Dan Marino spiral directly into its human target -or- the lone pole vaulter who lands on a mat full of strategically placed spikes. At least a little bit of thinking went into the death scenes.

By some odd means, I find myself watching this one more than I should, even though I don't watch it very much. (Is that a paradox?) Anyway, for the slasher completest like me, this is a must have simply because its Graduation Day. For fans of old 80's horror in general, if you can find it, it's well worth the 99c rental at your local video store. While you won't get many scares along the way, you'll get a full stomach by getting extra helpings of cheese.

Driller Killer 1979

2008-01-20T21:43:00.001-08:00

Like most classic horror films of the seventies and the early 80's, I saw most of them when I was a kid. Driller Killer just so happened to be a rental one Saturday night by the folks. I remember the copy of the vhs we rented stating at the beginning, 'This film is meant to be played loud'. I never really fully got what this artsy film was trying to say, but after many years and a lot more experience in my my cinematic indulgences, I understand what director Abel Ferarra was trying to pull of.

We have a strange painter (Reno) , living with his two female roomates in what could be considered a 'shanty' place. They're barely making ends meat. Reno's paintings haven't been selling and the neighbors that moves in next door to him do nothing to elevate his artistic visions. 'The Roosters', a VERY LOUD Punk band play their music day and night right next door to Reno, driving him insane. Needless to say, like most painters I've come into contact with, they get the hots for portable drills. Reno seems to get a little too excited when he sees commercials on television for a portable drill for only twenty bucks. He also has these weird scenarios in his head - everything is all blood crimson, his face and hair covered in blood at the sound of this very aggravating squelching.

This is where the statement I mentioned earlier comes into play. If you turn the film up louder than normal, you get the sense of what Reno must have endured (even to a greater degree) on a daily and nightly basis. Ala 'I Drink Your Blood', where a group of satanic hippies infected with rabies freak out at loud high pitched noises. Driller Killer delivers on lousy sounding nuances to literally pound the viewers senses. There's this horrible urge to turn the television down, but there's also this feeling that we're missing out on the whole point if we do. Irritating, vibrating, high pitched noises - All the way through the film. Together with Reno's dead painting career, lack of money for the bills, and his failed love attempt, it's no wonder he goes mad and murders homeless people. I think this is also a statement. Reno was only one step away from being homeless himself. Reno despised the homeless 'bums', but was overly afraid of becoming one himself, thus, taking his murderous aggression out on them. That's not the only 'class' of people Reno kills, however.

If you're in for something a little different, but still not the greatest thing in the world, check out Driller Killer. Not a bad early effort from Ferarra, who later delivered a few more cult favorites.

Just Before Dawn 1982

2008-01-20T20:34:00.001-08:00

Jeff Lieberman's 1982 backwoods slasher Just Before Dawn is one of those needles in the haystack. You know it's there, but you truly don't appreciate it until after you've stuck yourself with it. What sets this film apart from the majority of 80's backwoods slasher attempts is the location, alongside some very likable characters. Besides this, all of them can act. Plus, anything with George Kennedy gets a few points already.

Spoilers Below

We have a film filled with beautiful and creepy imagery. It's doused with certain charms that one can't explain, giving it that extra oomph that a film like this needs. Leiberman went out on a limb with Just Before Dawn and succeeded for the most part. Sadly, this film had gotten nowhere near the recognition it deserved over the years (as with The Final Terror), but not too long ago, Media Blasters released a special edition 2 disc set packed with extra features. To be honest, I was hoping for better picture quality. I don't even think it's the infinitive uncut print.

Anyway, we have a very eerie opening scene that involves two hunters in an abandoned church. They just happen to be smack dab in the middle of nowhere, with trees and landscape as far as you can see. They're standing in the church (which happens to have a strategically placed hole in the roof) bragging about their kill when the older hunter sees this huge man staring down at him. He gets freaked out, goes outside to check things out, but leaves his nephew Vachel inside. After a minute or two, Vachel turns to follow his Uncle outside, when the same face we saw staring down at them leaps out from behind a door and violently stabs Vachel through the genital area.

This scene made me jump. BUT, how could the same guy that was on the roof be inside? He's not Jason Vorhees, he can't be in two places at once, right?
We soon learn as one of the campers is walking across a rope bridge that there's actually two of these giants. Yep, their twins. Crazy inbred, machete carrying twins. They make some very menacing 'killers'. They seem to have the mind of a three year old and have no real grasp on reality. Wrong or right. Lacking morality and conscious makes anyone become more menacing.

Anyway, what we get is the normal slasher facade - campers partying. Campers talking. Campers getting spooked a few times (Especially in one scene that involves a couple swimming.)
To cut it short, if you're a slasher fan of the 80's, Just Before Dawn has enough of every element to make it work. Appreciate the lush cinematography (although the Media Blaster print has a foggy 'haze' all the way through it) and serious approach to the otherwise cheese filled cavities we see in most low budget slasher movies.

The Dorm That Dripped Blood Comics

2008-01-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

"Please, stop killing. For me?"

"I can't believe you did all the cocaine. I'm so hurt."

"Gimme a D! Gimme an E! Gimme an A! Gimme a D! What's that spell!?"

"I finally passed that kidney stone."

The Burning 1980

2008-01-18T19:19:00.000-08:00

Imagine how Cropsy feels out there in that summer heat at Camp Blackfoot. The guy's smoldering anyway - ever since being the victim of a kids prank that left him charred from head to toe.

Old Cropsy can't seem to let things die, and his temper is hot. He's got a burning desire to get back at the kids who turned him into a roasted duck.(Not to be confused with Fulci's quacking duck) The skin grafts at the hospital didn't take. No. No luck there. A proto-Freddy Kruger? Maybe?

C'mon, Cropsy! It's been five years since your accident. This group of kids had absolutely nothing to do with your little 'explosion' all those years back. Just leave 'em alone! I see there's no talking Cropsy out of sharpening his garden shears and stalking the camp once again. He knows Jason usually does the camp stalking, but he feels it necessary to prove a point.

Anyway, Cropsy kills. He does a little thing called the raft massacre - Which is one of the most brutal scenes is slasher movie history. Tom Savini flaunts his stuff and catches another STD behind the scenes. There's George Costanza with hair, alongside the Fast Times At Ridgemont High nerd. There's a couple pairs of tits and a few asses. Yeah, we're doing good aren't we?

Great gore. Great score. Great atmosphere. Wonderful setting. Everything that makes a slasher movie a slasher movie. It has a very upbeat feeling that's lacking in a lot of slashers. Most slasher movies have this depressing vibe about them, but once in a while you'll get one that strives for a higher mood. Sometimes that depressing vibe helps out in regards to atmosphere as a whole, but sometimes films can become too depressing for their own good.

A rarity in the low budget slasher genre is decent acting. We get some above par acting from a young Jason Alexander and Fisher Stevens. Holly Hunter is also in there somewhere, but doesn't get much screen time. The slasher fan always seems to have this one high on their list of favorites. It's become sort of a staple to have this one in the collection. Mandatory? I'd say so. Grab that newly released The Burning dvd and have some fun.

Prom Night 1980

2008-01-17T20:14:00.000-08:00

Prom Night is a teenage thriller set in a big city high school. Kim (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Nick (Casey Stevens) will be crowned Queen and King of the Prom and the excitement is evident. But a number of subplots threaten to disrupt the celebrations of the evening and eventually turn it into a night of horror.''

Doesn't sound too bad. Wrong. I don't hate this movie, but honestly, it's one of the more boring and dated entries in the slasher department. We start off with a now systematic scene involving a group of young kids. They're playing a twisted version of tag that involves one kid being the victim and the remaining kids being the 'killers'. (Not that kids playing twisted tag is systematic, but the 'accident 6 years earlier' thingy)

A tall lanky, little girl runs throughout the corridors of the building, hiding from her pursuers as they chant (simultaneously) ,"The Killers are coming!". Finally, the little girl gets cornered by this group of little pricks and accidentally falls two stories to her death through a window. We really wouldn't have a slasher unless the kids decide to cover up her death and keep quiet the fact they taunted her until she fell. It's not as big of a secret as these kids think. Just as they speed away on their bicycles, a little boys foot steps into view. Yes, he knows what happened.

Just as one might have guessed, we go down the road 6 or 7 years. It's the day of the Prom. All is well, but we get quick edits to an unseen killer. They're marking out pictures of random kids an a high school year book with a tube of lipstick - Making eerie phone calls. Could it be the little boy that steps into frame to reveal that somebody knows?

There's not much to discuss in between. A few strange things happen. Jamie Lee gets spooked along with a couple other students. There's actually some hint of character development, giving prelude to the fact that Kim has an arch rival ,who'll evidently befriend a greaser punk just to use him for revenge against her. We almost get a ''Carrie'' subplot, which was basically a slap in the face if you ask me.

There's a good fight scene. We get a little comical relief in the form of a fat tub of lard who calls himself 'Slick'. He likes his herb and thinks he's John Travolta with the women. (Not that Travolta likes women) He does gain a few points for keeping his marijuana stash in an American History book. Aside from this, he drives a van!

Aside from a few comical sequences and a couple red herrings, there's not really much to report about. We do, however, get treated to the same disco song in a Jamie Lee's dance scene (for what seems like an hour) - and a half way decent fight scene involving Kim's brother (Alex) and the greaser punk I mentioned earlier.

The killer's choice of attire is less than to be desired. A black jumpsuit, accompanied by a boggin and giallioesque black gloves. He DOES like to use an axe, tho. To be honest, I don't know if the reveal of the killer was as plain as day or not. It may be just be me, but the whole film seemed like it was edited by a six year old.

Conclusion: The first of a series that would spawn three sequels. The first two sequels delve into the supernatural area while the fourth installment delves back into the straight slasher department. For the slasher completest, Prom Night has got to be in the collection. It's as dated as you can get. I certainly wouldn't mind if I ever saw it again. For the completest, if you can find it in a 1$ bin, do it for the sake of it.

Unhinged 1982

2008-01-17T15:28:00.000-08:00

Unhinged somehow skipped by me at the video store growing up. Not until a couple years ago had I even heard of it. I managed to finally pick it up (after much contemplation) on dvd, but never got around to watching it for a couple of weeks. In the mean time, I did a little search on it and discovered it made the UK's 'Video Nasties' list back in the 80's. Of course, because a film is on the list doesn't make it an instant success.
Unhinged is like that punk in high school who talks a lot of shit but never really does anything about it. We start off simple enough. Three girls are on their way to a jazz concert when they have an accident. I never knew so many young women were into jazz! Anyway, someone finds them and brings them back to a mansion to mend up. It's the home of an invalid spinster and her 'daughter' where eccentricity reigns with an iron fist.

I don't know, but didn't they have hospital's back in 1982? Were they so deep in God's country that they didn't have the means to take them to an emergency room? The girls vaguely ask to be sent to a hospital as one of the girls is still concussed, but evidently they don't mind the lack of medical attention or sheer disregard for human health displayed by the rich eccentrics.

Don Gronquist (director) actually did a pretty good job involving direction. For the most part, most of the shots were pretty tight. The scenery was great. The wet Autumn laden trees were pleasing to the eye as we get a couple helicopter shots that for the most part, are unheard of in no budget film making. I'll take it and semi-like it. I thought Gronquist built tension pretty well. The movie does run a bit slow, having an even slower bodycount. I guess Gronquist stated in an interview that he was going to give Unhinged the Halloween treatment, giving us a lot of implications instead of gratuitous violence. Still, the death scenes are spectacularly done, with a keen giallo-like feel to it that's unmistakable.

The acting and pace are the culprits here. I'm sure the casting department probably picked up local actors because most of them had this weird nasal accent that's hard not to notice. Needless to say, it's quite amateurish , but picks up a few times along the way. Gronquist probably watched the dailies and realized the acting sucked and laid down the balls, I mean law to the straying actresses.

Unhinged manages to keep a somber ton throughout. It's quite depressing, honestly. The synthesizer score is reminiscent of almost anything from the 80's. Not too bad, but definitely not something you wanna try and find a download for. I've gotta say that I never saw the ending coming. It would be safe to say that it's one of the more shocking endings I have ever seen in a horror film. This ranks up their directly behind Sleepaway Camp's reveal. I was repulsed and literally shocked when I saw what was going on. Is the ending enough to redeem Unhinged as a whole? Again, you tell me. I'll be honest and say it might. Unhinged truly isn't a bad movie. It's a bland movie. There are a few Norman Bates type spying sequences that involves heavy breathing and masturbation. To be honest, it's some disturbing stuff. Too bad that those scenes are few and far between.

If you're the slasher completest and must have every slasher film from The Forest to the Halloween remake, go ahead and grab it. Hell, if you can find it for under 5$, go ahead and pick it up for the disturbing ending alone. It's worth 5$ just for the wake-up call.

When there's no more thread in Hell...

2008-01-17T00:14:00.000-08:00

"I don't want to be threading around like that!"

Hider in the House 1988

2008-01-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

A pre-bugged out Gary Busey portrays a resident psychopath (Tom Sykes) in a very strange performance that will ultimately make you pull back the shower curtain before taking a piss. Not really, but I like Busey. I would, however, hide in the shower if I saw him coming towards me.

After his release from a state institution, Tom finds a cozy new place to call home: a secret place he builds in the attic of the Dryer family home. No, not Fred Dryer's family. Hunter would have found him and let Dee Dee have a round or two with him.

Sykes definitely knows how to hide. As a child Tom would escape his parents violent outbursts and abuse by hiding in the most remote areas of the house. It's not long before he finally gets tired of being burned with cigarettes and torches down the house with his parents in it.

By setting up an elaborate microphone system in the attic, Tom's able to hear every word they say. He knows more about the Dryer family than Fred Dryer knows about them. Tom is now part of the house and his obsession with Julie unleashes hidden demons trapped in a mind that's trapped in an attic.

Tom finally makes himself known to Julie after he finds Phil and his mistress at a local restaurant. (He sets up a plan to have her meet him at the same hotel he uses with his mistress.) After the fur flies and Phil gets caught in the act, he's told to leave. Tom strategically places himself in the middle of a schoolyard fight between Julie's son and some monkey-bar punk. Julie appreciates Tom stepping in and little by little Tom starts to come around.

Things get a little hazy in Julie's eyes when Tom teaches her son some new defense techniques that involves viciously hurting one's opponent by means of nut blows, knees, and elbows. Things are set in stone when Tom shows how screwed up he his by almost refusing to take no for an answer when he asks for a formal date with Julie.

The film as a whole deals loosely with the psychological aspect of a bad upbringing. (Almost similar to a 1970's film called Bad Ronald - about a guy who lives in the walls of the house in which new tenants move in) Tom's arms are riddled with scars from cigarette burns. The conclusion of his visits to his shrink have him worried. He's afraid he'll 'loose control' again. The shrink talks nice, but isn't too keen on the notion of having him released. I wouldn't let Gary Busey roam the free world either.

What sets this movie off from the rest of the 'I'm crazy because I was abused as a kid' movies is the fact that at heart, Tom is a big old Teddy Bear. He really doesn't want to hurt anyone. His motives are pure in his own mind, but those damned old memories seem to trigger his rough temper. All he wants to do is lead an all American life, equipped with a wife and kids. Tom actually is a character to be pitied. I truly never saw him as a villain until the finale.

There's not much slicing and dicing going on, but the movie as a whole has a few slasher undertones. I guess one could classify it as such. I classify marijuana as a hearty breakfast, so...

One thing I do know is that a dog, an ill fated exterminator, and Julie's friend get killed and buried. Another thing I know is that this movie is quiet entertaining. Busey gives a wonderful performance and really doesn't have to act too much. As we all know, Busey is crazy anyway. Also, Mimi Roger's is smoking as usual, reminding me for the world of my beautiful wife.

If you're a fan of psychological horror films as well as slasher films, you can't go wrong. No masterpiece, but no pile of trash either. I'll admit, the scenario is quiet outlandish. Not too many people would look over the fact that some crazy man is living in the attic, but it makes way for some good stuff on celluloid. By the way, this is/was a made for television film that debuted on the USA network back in the day.

The Final Terror filming locations

2008-01-16T22:51:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting site that shows up-to-date information on Howland Hill Road in Del Norte California. In case you're wondering what this has to do with horror movies, it's the filming location for the 1983 slasher film The Final Terror. http://virtualguidebooks.com/NorthCalif/RedwoodPark/HowlandHillRd/HowlandHillRd_TOC.html

Final Exam 1981

2008-01-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

Jimmy Houston gives us something a little different than your normal slasher fare. A lot of people think the character development and the time it took the director to give us insight on our characters detracts from the film, making it seem like a talky television movie. In some respects this is quite true.

While going a different direction in regards to characters, Houston still gives us the already clichéd shot of two love bird co-eds getting all hot and sweaty in the back seat of 'jock boy's' car. Familiar territory already.

Wouldn't you know it? After the star quarterback for his college football team finally talks his date into the back seat, someone starts fucking with them - pushing and bumping the car. The dude's first instinct is that it was probably one of his jealous team mates, but he soon figures out it probably isn't when someone jumps on the hood of his car and slices a huge hole in the canopy of quarterback's convertible with a big butcher's knife. He then realizes he should get the hell out of Dodge and jumps in the front seat, but is quickly jerked through the hole in the canopy and manhandled onto the hood of the car. The killer lunges his silvery bladed butcher's knife deep into quarterbacks chest as his girlfriend watches in horror.

We then witness a close-up of the screaming chic in the back seat. The camera zooms in on her ugly face while her annoying scream goes on until our next fade in.

It's the next day and a group of co-ed acquaintances are discussing the murders that took place at the rival college. (ala Scream) There's a pretty uplifting vibe to the film already, as the characters make jokes and make light of the situation. One of the Frat boys going as far as to say that since the star quarterback from the rival team was now dead, "they might have a chance to take them."

During this short little opening to introduce our main characters, we get to learn a lot about them already. We realize that they're seemingly normal (well, all except for Radish who's obviously a closet homo) people with thoughts and feelings like the rest of us sub-humans.

Mark, one of the football-jock-frat boy-pricks is even cool in his own right. Final exams are there and he needs to pass, but like most red blooded Americans he plans to cheat because he didn't study. Well, I guess you could call it cheating. I'm not going to go into detail because this is ultimately a great surprise in the movie. Let's just say that I thought Houston was going to give us a morsel of slasherness and shy away from it, giving us a 'Red Dawn' rip-off instead.

Nevertheless, we have our virginal heroine, Courtney. Everyone loves her, but she can't find the right person. She's the one who'll let you cheat off her even though she's contemplating your murder in her mind. There's the serial killer freak who has a poster of the Toolbox Murders up in his dorm room. He always drinks Irish whiskey at the end of the term, and probably would prefer Courtney if she were a man. We have our fat coach who lives his dreams through his students when he could still do a single push-up. There's a drunken security guard who'll get your goat. There's a whole slew of likable characters to root for.

I almost forgot to mention that there's hardly any bloodshed in this movie, and not until forty-five minutes after our opening sequence does anyone come into contact with the killer. BUT, all is not in vain. This film has loads of atmosphere to keep it on the right slasher track. It indeed is talky throughout, and plays off like a television drama at times, but it delivers on a larger level during the last thirty minutes. The finale is really well done. We get to see glimpses of the killers face, which is basically an ordinary man in a green army jacket.

The lighting is very well done and the setting of the school added more gloom and doom to the situation. There's also some very good camera work in regards to certain shots - The 'Shining-esque' shot of Courtney walking down the long hallway after she finds Radish's face smashed through a door. Some very good stuff.

What's the motive for the killer's murderous rage? Well, it never answers that question. We're left wondering why he chose to stalk college campuses in his black van and ultimately butcher coeds like they molested him when he was a kid or something. I should be pissed at this idea, but the open ending rings true on the same bell as Halloween. (Not to mention the similar piano score) Maybe the producers got a little ahead of themselves thinking they had a gem on their hands, thus the obvious sequel. Aside from all the obvious detractions, Final Exam still works for me.

Giovanni Lombardo Radice: Italian Cult Movie Star

2008-01-10T22:19:00.000-08:00

Wow!~ Here's Giovanni Lombardo Radice's (aka: John Morghen) official site. For those of you not familiar, he's suffered some of the most violent cinematic deaths in the history of Italian cinema. From getting drilled through his head via table drill in The Gates of Hell, to having his hand, top of his head, and his penis chopped off in Cannibal Ferox, Giovanni Lombardo Radice has suffered many gruesome deaths by the hands of some of Italy's most prolific special effects/make-up artists.
http://www.johnmorghen.com

The Dead Next Door 1988

2008-01-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

This is a little breather in between all the slasher films I've referred to during this little stint as a 'blogger'. I DO feel accepted now. I DO feel loved, and in some respects, I DO see the light. But, I don't think it's the blog within itself that's the big draw, but for simple fact that it's an easy, simple way to put your thoughts on your own website. Blogger.com does all the web work for you. All you have to do is come up with the content. Too bad that 80% of the blogs out there are entertainment related. Makes it hard to come up with your own niche' if your wants for a blog warrants those expertise.

Dead Next Door is one of those zombie lover needles in a haystack. You've played in the hay a thousand times, but then the needle ends up sticking you in the ass. This is one of those occasions that you just wanna go out and blow all your money on beer and pot, grab a few buddies and have a riot.

First off, this little gem took almost four years to fully complete. (Production actually beginning in 1984 IIRC) JR. Bookwalter, for those of you who don't know, is somewhat of a low budget guru in the cult film industry. He started his snit as a director, with this film being his most well known, but later went into the field of actually producing low budget horror films such as, Skinned Alive and Ozone (which he also directed, just to name a few.)

I've got loads of respect for Bookwalter. I've actually conversed with the guy on more than one occasion and he's one of the most down to earth guys you'll ever meet. Unlike some people, just because I like the guy, and respect him for the dedication it took to make this film, I'm not going to give it a biased review. It indeed has it's flaws (especially if your cursed with a non remastered vhs copy) and is obviously a poor mans Dawn of the Dead.

Shying away from any further talk on Bookwalter or any of his cool production team, The DeadNext Door is somewhat of an enigma. There's loads of zany gore, goofy characters, and so many in your face Dawn of the Dead and Evil Dead references that it isn't even funny. It's obvious Bookwalter was, and still is a big fan of 'DOTD' and The Evil Dead. He goes so far as to prove his love for the films that during the opening scene, we have some zombies throwing down Creepshow, The Evil Dead,.Dawn of the Dead and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the counter in a Man and Pa videostore, just before devouring the clerk. All the fanboy worship could have been strenuous, making some people despise the film simply for those reasons, but for some reason or another, it actually works here.

We jump ahead two years. The zombies have pretty much taken over things - invading residences and well stocked homes and shelters, tearing them to bits in a zany comic book fashion. There's a group of police officer's turned Zombie Squad who's job is to go out daily and kill as many zombies as they can. With this premise, you know that there's something a little different. By this short time, the whole feel to the movie brings a very homely and welcomed familiarity along with the normal actors and settings. You even have a bunch of red neck zombie killers all balled up into one room watching The Evil Dead on an old television set, sort of taking notes on how to deal with the zombie outbreak.

It seems as if the Zombie Squad aren't the only ones rounding up zombies. A crazed religious cult are rounding them up for ceremonial purposes, giving them human sacrifices to devour. This is not your average zombie film, folks. Aside from all the Dawn of the Dead and Evil Dead references, this is one of the most original horror/zombie films ever made. I have the Anchor Bay version which is remarkably remastered aside from its counterpart, the old shoddy video. Even in the Anchor Bay version, you can see some grain in places, but considering the shape of the original print, it's a miracle we got what we get.

In some ways, I prefer the grain, but the original print was so bad that there's still that old horror movie feel to it, even behind all the digital renovations that have been done to it.

Religious cults, a crazed scientist who wears a yellow white ball cap, zombies walking on the White House Lawn (this could never be done today), zombies singing the American anthem by the help of our deranged scientist (Day of the Dead anyone?), a reanimated cop corpse who's one of the coolest mofo's you'll ever see, car kills, zombie massacres, head's exploding, arms being eaten, guts being ripped out....I could go on and on . All this (and more) make up the wonderful low budget entertainer, The Dead Next Door.

Killer Nerd (Toby Radloff) goes Stupid

2008-01-07T17:41:00.001-08:00

Toby Radloff Interview (Conducted 2003)

Lunchmeat:Toby, first off, I wanna say thanks for taking time to answer some of
my questions. Are you comfortable?

Toby:Yes, I am comfortable.

Lunchmeat: I have always heard of Harvey Pekar. He became popular for documenting his own life in the form of a comic book of the same name. He looks like your average Joe, but was ultimately banned from the David Letterman show after making allegations about NBC's Parent Company General Electric. It wasn't known to me until seeing bits and pieces of the making of 'American Splendor' that I learned that you were actually a charcter is his comic books, and ultimately a co-worker of his. You also had another actor playing you. How did this feel, and what kind of experience was it working with Harvey, or being a part of it in general? Any anecdotes you would like to share?

Toby: I felt good about how the finished product of the film "American Splendor"
came out. I had known Harvey Pekar for 23 years, and have worked alongside him in the files unit of the Wade Park VA Medical Center in ClevelandHarvey retired almost two years ago, and his actual retirement party was documented at the end of the film. Judah Friedlander, who has done standup comedy and has appeared in small roles in several other films prior to "American Splendor", did an excellent job portraying me. We got together over dinner, then he studied my character by watching videos of my old MTV spots and low-budget films (Killer Nerd, Bride Of Killer Nerd, Townies), and we got together a couple of times on the set. Judah had my looks,
voice, and mannerisms down pat. At the rate of success (both critical and with audiences) that American Splendor is receiving, I wouldn't be surprised if the film picks up Golden Globe and Oscar nominations at the end of the year. Both Paul Giamatti and Judah Friedlander deserve to be nominated. I appeared in the film as well, as myself, including a scene where both me and Judah are together, as well as Harvey and Paul.

The combination of drama and documentary is done flawlessly in American Splendor. As for the comic books, I started appearing in Harvey's "American Splendor" comic books beginning with #9 in 1984. I tell Harvey my stories, he draws the stick figures, and his artist friends do the artwork. People who have seen the books liked my stories. Working with Harvey at the VA was a very good experience in an otherwise stressful work environment (at the time). Now, with most medical records computerized, stress is less common in the record room. Being in the film was a great experience for me, and I'm glad to be part of it. I traveled to the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last January for the world premiere-an awesome experience. In August I traveled with the Pekar family to Los Angeles and New York City for the premieres there, which went quite well. I also made special appearances at a couple of Cleveland area movie theaters shgowing the film, in which i signed posters and handed out "Genuine Nerd" buttons to the filmgoers. So far, everyone who's seen the film loved it, and I have gotten great compliments for my appearance in the film. American Splendor is going to go a long way.

Lunchmeat:For the 80's generation, some may remember you from MTV as portraying the Genuine Nerd'. How did you get to be part of these segments? Wasn't Wayne A. Harold responsible for producing some of these segments?

Toby: In 1987, shortly after Harvey Pekar started appearing on "Late Night With David Letterman", an MTV crew from New York came to the VA record room to do a story about Harvey. Harvey introduced the crew to me, and as a result, I started appearing on several segments on "MTV News" and "Week In Rock". The first "Genuine Nerd" spots were released to coincide with the upcoming theatrical release of "Revenge Of The Nerds II-Nerds In Paradise". I appeared in a few other segments in which I discussed White Castle hamburgers (how I love them), as well as some holiday-themed segments. In the summer of 1988, Harvey and I appeared at a Superman convention in downtown Cleveland (Superman was introduced by two Clevelanders, Joe Siegel and Jerry Shuster) in the 1930's, and the Superman convention (a large comic book/horror/sci-fi/movie expo) was supposed to raise money to build a Superman statue in Cleveland-however, the event ended up in the red (despite a rib burnoff and an Indians-Yankees game that same day-a lot of people were downtown that weekend), and the statue was never built, and the sponsor, a comic book store, was forced into bankruptcy. However, at the convention, Harvey and I, talking in a hallway after another group took our assigned room, met Wayne Harold and Mark Bosko for the first time. MTV was looking for a local crew to film the segments, and Wayne and Mark (who were in the main business of producing TV commercials for local businesses to air on cable TV) shot several MTV spots that aired in 1988 and 1989. After the MTV spots ended, Wayne and Mark went on to shoot "Killer Nerd".

Lunchmeat: Your portrayal in 'Killer Nerd' was one of the strangest performances I have ever seen. I mean this in a good way of course. You're somewhat of a mystery to me. Do you really consider yourself a nerd in real life? Does being a nerd have its advantages? Drawbacks?

Toby: Being in "Killer Nerd" was a great experience for me, however, acting in a movie was a lot different than shooting an MTV spot, and there were things I had to get used to, including doing multiple takes and working late at night on some scenes. Still, the finished product ended up looking good, and "Killer Nerd" was a modest success saleswise. As for myself, I have always considered myself a nerd. I am smart. I was picked on and harassed back in junior high school, because I didn't fit in to any "cliques". I later embraced my differences, and started ignoring my harassers. I don't get any negative flak over my being a nerd, and I've felt proud of my being a nerd for well over 30 years now. Especially with "American Splendor" in the theaters now, I get lots of compliments over my portrayal, as well as my being part of this film. As for "Killer Nerd", I would never kill anyone in real life-this is basically a dark story of a put down nerd, "Harold Kunkle", taking revenge on his tormentors-by killing them after he is beaten up in an alley by two of those tormentors. Still, it's only a movie-and a movie that's now considered a "camp classic".

Lunchmeat: Wayne A Harold,, has directed or co-directed most of the films you've acted in,(KILLER NERD- BRIDE OF KILLER NERD-TOWNIES) dis-including 'American Splendor'. What's he like to work with? Do you ever go out drinking with him and JR. Bookwalter? I bet they make you pick you the tab, eh?

Toby: Wayne is a very cool person to work with. He assists me with lines and makes sure that his films come out well. I find it very easy to work with him. Wayne and I went out to eat a few times, but never drank (I don't drink alcohol.) BTW, the meals are usually carryout pizza, and Wayne pays for it.

Lunchmeat: There is an upcoming documentary featuring you as the subject entitled 'Genuine Nerd'. This too is directed by Wayne A. Harold. How did it feel to have the camera's with you everywhere you went? Was it frustrating? Can you give us a little more information on this project? What should we expect?

Toby: I don't see any problem with this documentary. Again, Wayne is very easy
and very patient to work with, and I am used to being in the camera's eye. After the success of "American Splendor", Wayne felt that a documentary on me needed to be done. I have worked with Wayne for over 15 years now, and I had a lot to say. I'm basically telling it like it is. The documentary will come out well, and give me additional exposure.

Lunchmeat: Just exactly what do you do when you're not behind the camera? Do you
have
an every-day job like most nerds, or do you spend your time harassing
the locals out of boredom?

Toby: I still work at the VA, but I drive a van now, delivering medical records and other items to various VA facilities throughout Northeast Ohio. I love my present job. I spend my free time either going to movies, taking road trips, and spending time on the Internet.

Lunchmeat: Michelle Sibits (your co-star CRAZY CONNIE in 'TOWNIES) was a really off the wall charcter. I honestly didn't know she had a wig on. Wild stuff! Did you two do any 'off-screen' rehearsals, because you two seemed to click so well on-screen? And also, what was the rest of the cast like to work with?

Toby: I only met Connie once or twice-the only time we saw each other is when we were shooting. She's in interesting person to work with.

Lunchmeat: Being a native of Cleveland, and being a star of locally made films, I'm sure that you're quiet the celebrity in your neighborhood. Do you get approached alot as being 'that nerd' from that 'low budget horror flick'? What does your family think of your infamous 'Nerd' status?

Toby: I have been approached over the years about "Killer Nerd" and "Bride of Killer Nerd". They keep asking me where they could get copies of the movies, which were out of print for several years, but were reissued a year or so ago by Troma. My family and relatives are glad that I'm in the movies-I look more for exposure than money. but more money certainly helps. And "American Splendor"'s success will most certainly find new audiences for my earlier films. They love my successes in film.

Lunchmeat :Do you ever find that you have viciously became caught in the web of 'type-casting'? Being a self professed nerd really doesn't leave you many other options. If I were you, I'd be doing some heavy ass-kissing
toward Wayne Harold or JR Bookwalter. Of course I'm just kidding, but I'm sure you you've experienced the dreaded typecast-syndrome.

Toby: I don't worry about typecasting. I'm just being myself-a nerd. If Hollywood comes knocking on the door as a result of my "American
Splendor" appearance, as well as my appearances in the earlier films, I would be glad to see what they have to offer. But I'm not quitting my day job yet.

Lunchmeat: Are you pretty much loyal to Wayne and Lurid Productions, or are you pretty much free to obtain other roles as they are offered, or are you sort of legally binded with Wayne in any way?

Toby: I am loyal to Wayne and Lurid. I have a permanent presence on the Lurid.com web site. I am not under any legally binding contract with Wayne; we work together because we are good friends.

Lunchmeat: Are you a real life fan of bizzare cinema, or is it just business? If so, you must have a few favorite horror films lingering around somewhere. If so, besides the ones you've acted in, which are your favorites, and why?

Toby: I love all kinds of weird films, especially old indie films dealing with nerds, high school kids, "trailer trash", and other weird stuff...this stuff beats out most major-studio Hollywood garbage ten times over. I would pick
out 100 Killer Nerds instead of one Gigli...if you know what I mean. Independent film is where it's at-in the past, now, and always. Rarely does a major studio put out a halfway decent film anymore. I am not much into horror, but I do like bizarre stuff...one DVD I watched recently was a low budget "stinker" called "Monsturd"...about a giant bowel movement monsterthat terrorizes a town-very funny but very weird. I also saw a DVD documentary about overweight porn star Ron Jeremy. As I said, I love weird films.

Lunchmeat: Have you ever been disappointed with any of your performances after you see the finished product, or is everything pretty much cut and dry while you're watching it? I could never watch my own films for fear of looking like an idiot. Are you a big fan of your own films or do you shun the mere thought of them?

Toby: So far, I have been happy with the way I'm portrayed in my films. I love watching them over and over again-just because I'm in them. I already saw "American Splendor" 10 times, and "Killer Nerd" is approaching cult classic status.

Lunchmeat: Have you ever thought of stepping on the other side of the camera and trying your luck at directing? What genre' film would you like to make if the possibility arose? Another off-beat horror-comedy, a drama, an all out horror film, documentary..ect...

Toby:I have thought about it at times, but at the time, I am so busy with other things, that I don't really have the time or frame of mind to direct a film. If I end up a director, Wayne would most likely be there to assist me. It's still a pipe dream to me, to direct a film.

Lunchmeat: Tell us about 'Abberation Boulevard'. Looking forward to seeing the finished product? What should we expect?

Toby: In "Aberration Boulevard", I play a carnival freak who lives with other carnival freaks in a home in Schlarb, Ohio,during the off season. I play a character named "Corky", who has a diaper fetish. In one scene, I hire a teenage prostitute and pay her to "change my diaper". I even cry like a baby and have a pacifier in my mouth in this scene. Again, I am looking forward to the finished product.

Lunchmeat: DVD or VHS?

Toby: Wayne will most likely release "Aberration Boulevard" in both formats, although the DVD will have extras.

Lunchmeat: Nintendo, X-Box, or Play station? Or are you still playing 'Pong?'
(laughs)

Toby: I used to own an Atari 2600, but now am not much into video games. I do play video games on my computer. I have almost every Atari game ever released on CD-Rom for my computer-bought it at a computer show last year.

Lunchmeat:Any other Toby Radloff news you would like to share before we close?
Any future projects we haven't covered?

Toby: Not really...most of the current media coverage involving me are tied to
"American Splendor". The film continues to do well, and could end up
winning nominations for Golden Globes and Oscars. As for wayne, he has
other unnamed projects in the works, that he would love to have me do. Only
time will tell.

Lunchmeat: And last but not least....in three words, describe what kind of
experience it has been doing what you do!

Toby: Fun, enjoyable, exciting.

Lunchmeat: Toby, I wanna thank you for taking time to answer some of my
questions.It's been a real pleasure.to have you share your thoughts. We hope to see you in other projects in the future, and please drop by the site sometime and say hello!! Best in
everything from The Stupid (Edit)

Toby: Thanks very much. Keep in touch.

American Gothic 1988

2008-01-06T00:28:00.000-08:00

Well, Canadian John Hough gives it to us is a soup bowl. This is probably one of my favorite 'backwoods' slasher films, although the entire film takes place on a cold damp island. From the beginning, I could tell I was watching a Canadian production. There's just no mistaking that cool foggy Canadian whirl in the sky, accompanied by those giant cedars that reach upward with limbed hands.....

Anyway.......

Cynthia and Jeff are a newly married couple with their first newborn. One day, while Cynthia is giving baby a bath, Jeff calls from work. Cynthia forgets baby in the tub, baby drowns, and she's off to the mental institution for an unspecified amount of time. We hear the doctor telling her husband that they need some time away, albeit, a few mental changes in Cynthia. After leaving the hospital, the two later take the doc up on his suggestion and take a private plane to a week-end of fun in the woods.

Anyone who has ever seen one of those backwoods slasher flicks know that the plane is going to malfunction, and Cynthia, Jeff, and four of their friends are soon going to be stranded on this cold foggy island with no one around for miles - except for that crazy ass family that lives a little deeper in the woods than you would normally go.

After finally realizing that they're stranded, the crew finally decide to make a night out of, pitch some tents, drink some alcohol, and listen to some God awful 80's synth-pop on some cheap ass one speaker transistor radio. The night soon ends and the reality of the situation finally sets in. They're stranded and they need to find a way off the island. That's the logical thing to do, right? Well, in most cases yes, but these people obviously have no idea they're in a slasher flick and decide to explore the island. Tip: Never explore any geographical layout after you've been stranded, whether it be a desert or Arctic tundra.

The crew walk a ways and finally run upon a seemingly deserted home. It's a nice little place, although it looks like it hasn't been inhabited in at least thirty years. The five unsuspecting strandee's pretty much break and enter into this fifty's style home and rummage through it as if they own the place. There's fiftie's memorabilia all over the place. There's an old copy of the 'Saturday Evening Post' lying on the table, an old phonograph, and old style clothing everywhere. Needless to say, the idiots who were now in the house should have realized by the lack of cobwebs that the place was indeed inhabited by someone, no matter how it looked on the outside.

Just as the group of 'odd looking' youths fire up the old Victrola, the owners of the house finally arrive. They open the door, and to tell you the truth, don't look to unhappy with finding five strangers inside their home upon their return from an evening of hunting. MA and Pa, an older couple in their sixties, invite the strangers (who had incidentally barged into their house without permission) to dinner, and ultimately to stay with them until their friend comes with a boat to escort them off the island.

We soon realize that Ma and Pa are religious extremists who have distorted the correct views of Biblical morality and bred their own form of incestuous and murderous depraved religion. (Kind of like a TBN Telethon)

It seems as if Ma and Pa don't believe in new fangled thingamajig's like telephones or motorized boats, so contacting anyone with the help of Ma and Pa was primarily useless. Either Pa would save the day, having his friend incidently show up with a boat, or he would keep them at bay from the outside world and do away with them. You guessed it, but not exactly...

We quickly realize that Ma and Pa are the eccentric bunch, but not nearly eccentric as their children. BUT, they're in their sixties, they're too old for children, right? Well, yeah, in the carnal sense of the word, but these aren't your ordinary children. These are forty year old adults who behave and act like they're eight. I guess Ma and Pa were too overprotective over the years.

There's Fanny: A fat, curly-haired red-head who has a knack for incestuous acts with her brothers, playing with baby corpses and pretending it's alive - Ramming sharp pointed objects through her sex objects eye, and most of all, playing with her basement full of 'over-sized' dolly's. You'll find out.

There's Woody: Michael J. Pollard chews up the scenery as usual. Woody is a bashful kid, (I mean 45 years old, but also has a mean streak. He likes to push people over cliffs in homemade swing sets and watch them pummel to their deaths - And playing fireman, using human bodies for firewood.

There's Teddy (Played by the late great William Hootkins) A fat oversexed pig who likes to play cowboy's and Indian's with his siblings, but most of all, likes to have sex with female corpses he's just killed. He doesn't get away with it though, Pa gives him a good spanking for being mean.

Needless to say, we have a crazy bunch of sumbitches. Our little fun timer's are getting killed off one by one and everything goes to hell.

After watching this, I soon realized that I'd never judge a movie by it's box art. Not only was this such a surprise (although I had seen it years ago on cable), we also get a double twist ending (sort of) that was all too fitting for this religious themed chaotic glob of depravity.

I'm dying to give away the ending, but I don't want to spoil it for you who haven't seen it yet.

The Abomination 1987

2008-01-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

A young southern boy finds himself a changed man. Cody is your typical white trash with some problems. Like all good old southern boys, he has an overbearing, albeit ill Mother, who eventually is the cause of his demise.

It seems as if good old Mom has a cancerous tumor deep inside her lungs. While watching a money hungry preacher on television late one night, she harks up this solid tumor, which in turn, takes shape as an ancient demon. The 'phlem demon' then resides inside the cupboards of the house where it eventually coherses young Cody to kill everyone in his path. Like most people who become brainwashed by cancerous tumor demons, Cody then brings back the body parts to the demon so he won't starve to death

The demon keeps getting fatter and Cody keeps killing.

There's buckets of blood in this one. There's a very gorey chainsaw decapitation scene and about thirty minutes of him waking up from the same nightmare...over and over and over and over...and over....and over.

Just when you think you've seen it all, you ain't seen shit. This is one of those films whose title fits the bill perfectly. An 'Abomination' is exactly what this little film is, but it's one of those good abominations. This is one of those rare must-see cases for the subject matter alone. It's not everyday you find yourself witnessing a deranged young man doing the evil bidding of his Mom's cancerous demon.

This is one hard mutha to find. I was lucky enough to find a copy at a friend of mine who used to own a video store. Like mentioned above, this is a case where you should pick it up if you ever run across it.
If you want something serious, don't even bother - but - if you're in the mood for some silly over-the-top gore and bad acting, with a sideshow of southern evangelist shenanigans, watch this instead of the Trinity Broadcasting Network - You'll get more spiritual fulfillment.

Highly recommended for the fan of no-budget attempts at movie making. BTW, the pictures were "borrowed from the one of the greatest sites on the internet. http://www.bleedingskull.com

It's 'Truth' for Tim Ritter

2008-01-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

As stated on his official site http://www.TimRitter.com.... "Tim Ritter is an independent filmmaker and heavy metal enthusiast who has gotten notoriety for writing and directing such films as the TRUTH OR DARE trilogy, KILLING SPREE, CREEP, and most recently, RECONCILED THROUGH THE CHRIST. He is also an obscure novelist, having recently penned THE HAMMER WILL FALL and the semi-autobiographical UNREEL.

True addicts of contemporary B-Movies will genuflect at the mention of Tim Ritter's name. As the creative force behind contemporary horror cult classics including the "Truth or Dare?" trilogy or the grisly features "Creep" and "Killing Spree," Ritter has been terrifying and entertaining audiences with his intense, envelope-pushing approach to filmmaking that liberally mixes pulse-banging suspense with unapologetic violence. If Alfred Hitchcock and Herschell Gordon Lewis had their genes spliced together, the result would easily be Tim Ritter.

Born on a Friday the 13th back in 1967, Ritter was still in high school when he scripted, directed and edited his first feature, a 1984 Super 8mm production called "Day of the Reaper." Shrewdly recognizing the potential of the then-nascent direct-to-video market, Ritter self-distributed his production to video wholesalers and, in the process, helped lay the groundwork for what is now one of the most important facets of the home video market. He followed up "Day of the Reaper" by co-directing the video anthology "Twisted Illusions" (1985) and wrote and directed (albeit without director credit) the first installment of the "Truth or Dare?" series that introduced one of the most indefatigable serial killers to slash his away across the screen, The Coppermasked Madman.

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, Ritter helmed his own productions (including "Wicked Games" and "Screaming For Sanity") and also served a variety of function on other works including stints as writer, editor, second unit director, narrator, and even "creative consultant." In 1995, he directed "Creep," a horrifying adventure following the crime trail of sibling serial killers. Even in the no-holds-barred world of B-Movie filmmaking, "Creep" cut more than a few nerves and remains a popular cult film to this day.

In the twenty-first century, Ritter has turned his attention to creating a variety of new projects, including books and movies. His novels include THE HAMMER WILL FALL (2000) and UNREEL (2004). His latest productions are TWISTED ILLUSIONS 2 (Dexter Deadbeat segment) and RECONCILED THROUGH THE CHRIST, both produced by his new SRU Ventures, LLC distribution company. "

I'm sure a lot of you guys probably have a few Tim Ritter films lying around somewhere. What his biography failed to mention is that Tim Ritter is a born again Christian. I honestly didn't know this until our paths crossed one December a year or two ago. How can a man go from making gore/exploitation films with tits and blood, to a born again Christian? Hey, God works in mysterious ways and this is one of them. I say more power to him. I also would like to say thanks for sending me his latest film, 'Reconciled Through The Christ, and the soundtrack that goes along with it. A very welcomed gift from one of the innovators of the home video market back in the day. Thanks, Tim, and keep making movies. Copyright Tim Ritter TimRitter.com

P.S. I'll pop up a review for this in the next little while.

Hell Night 1980

2008-01-04T17:25:00.001-08:00

To be totally honest, I'm squatting the fence on Hell Night. This one seems a bit forced, almost like it's being performed on stage, but it still has its moments. Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing off on the film, it's actually a well made film with quiet a few suspenseful elements. Anyway, four pledges as a part of their initiation are dared to spend the night in a supposed haunted house which was previously and conveniently rigged so the hazers could get kicks out of scaring the shit out of the bunch.

To make a long story short, they find out the legend of the old place and ultimately figure out that the inbred ogre of a son that supposedly died years back is alive and well, and killing every sumbitch that steps in his way. Sounds quiet interesting, but to be honest, it's quiet slow toward the build-up. It was a different take on the budding slasher genre at the time, which in a way, was a welcomed change, but all in all, I think the costumes and old style look of the scenery detracted from the tangibility we could have felt if it had taken place in a more contemporary place. All in all, we get to witness Linda Blair try and act, with a guy from Friday the part 4 trying to avoid getting their guts plowed out by sharp instruments.

I must admit that the ending is great. There's a certain brutality about it that kind of overshadowed the tame killings throughout the film. As the slasher completist, go ahead and pick it up, but if you're a slasher fan who likes them dark and brutal, look elsewhere.

The Nastiest Man In The World

2008-01-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

Italian cult/exploitation Legend, Giovanni Lombardo Radice -aka- John Morghen

Bloodstalkers (1978) propaganda

2008-01-02T17:10:00.001-08:00

A horror movie about a group of tourists in Florida who are attacked by a chilling group of backwoods psychopaths.

This197 8 slasher film is better than it should be. This could very well be the granddaddy of the backwoods slasher film. Deliverance (by many) helped kick-start the crazy backwoods family plot line, but Bloodstalkers did it even before Friday the 13th. Now, I'm referring mainly to the kill scenes and the setup thereof, as we have a number of death scenes that were copied in some of the Friday the 13th flicks.

It's safe to say that the director of Bloodstalkers (Robert W. Morgan), was influenced by Italian horror guru, Mario Bava, as a couple of scenes were downright copied from Bay of Blood. aka Twitch of the Death Nerve.

This post isn't meant to be a review, but a catalyst to spark your interests. The director himself is now offering a newly released dvd of Bloodstalkers - complete with a personal autograph and blurb of your choice. (I thought the godamn director was dead) The film also has a few extras and comes with a copy of the day to day diary of the shoot compiled and written by director Robert W. Morgan. All for just $19.95 - and this includes shipping.

Here's a link to the main site where you can purchase or order the dvd.

http://dvddrive-in.com/reviews/a-d/bloodstalkerspromo.htm

Class Reunion Massacre -aka- The Redeemer 1976

2008-01-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

"Make up, dear. You serve others with it. Now, we're gonna watch it all go down the drain."

I've been a huge fan of this (until recently) forgotten proto-slasher from 1976. Titled The Redeemer upon its initial theatrical run, it was later released in the early 80's on the old Continental label as Class Reunion Massacre.

A short dumpy kid rises from a lake, fist in air, as in some triumphant mode. He makes his way through the water, [lips a quivering] to the banks of the quarry where he later ends up at the home of a sleeping preacher. During this little scene, we see something of a transformation. The kid simply transfers his third thumb to the hand of our preacher [Yeah, the kid has a third thumb] which stated by T.G. Finkbinder (The actor who portrayed The Redeemer) was an ''epiphany'' by director Constantine S Gochis in has backyard one evening. It was supposed to represent the Biblical mark of Cain or something. He also stated that Gochis consumed a case of beer everyday while on the set, which may account for the surrealistic feel of the movie as a whole.

We're soon taken back to the kid. His clothes are automatically dry and he finds himself waiting on a blue and white church bus to pick him up. He ends up at the church, where soon, we find out he's a choir boy - but - not before being harassed by the local bully, simply because he didn't laugh at his whore/sailor joke. The kid gets a knife blade pressed against his neck, just as the church bell cues the choir boys to their positions in the church.

It's not long before the preacher pounds his fists and spouts out dogmatic religious jargon, all the while, being taken to the lives of six ordinary individuals, albeit evil in the eyes of our preacher. By some truly good editing, we step back and forth between the lives of these people, showing us what kind of supposed evil people they are. There's an actor who is vanity laden. A lawyer who cares about nothing but the dollar. A lesbian. A rich bitch who shoots live doves for sport. A fat glutton who likes to call the son of his new fling a 'little bastard'. And a seemingly innocent lady who has coincidently been married and divorced a few times. Even tho a few of the characters were assholes, they certainly weren't worthy of the barbaric deaths they endured.

Anyway, these people represent a portion of the seven deadly sins. The preacher marvelously sets up a fake class reunion, only inviting the six aforementioned individuals. The seventh deadly sin [to my knowledge] comes right before the caretaker of the old school is killed by The Redeemer. He was a semi-crippled man who denied the redeemer's help on his request to help him pick up his keys. Evidently, The Redeemer' saw this as pride, and shot the bastard cold dead.

Soon, the six former high school students (who must have been good friends) make it to the old high school which looks deserted from the get-go. They are soon let in by The Redeemer who is disguised as the caretaker. He seems immune to the fact that a class reunion is going to take place even tho there's a huge banner over top the threshold that states "Class of 67'.

They're inside, but everything is missing. All the trophies which helped the fat glutton remember the days when he was a popular jock, not an overweight prick. The whole place is deserted, but the sound of music and the smell of food lures the crew to the cafeteria where a meal fit for a king sits, waiting on the crew to dig in. There's a really cool shot that has everyone sitting horizontally behind the table, reminiscent of the 'The Last Supper'.

To make a long story short, The Redeemer offs the crew, using their daily life ritual as a crutch to murder them. For instance, the glutton is baked by fire just like the food he eats. The make-up wearing divorcee is drowned in a sink bowl. A statement on her Jezabell ways. A lawyer is forced to shoot himself in the head, making it look like suicide. The actor is offed by way of huge scimitar directly though the top of his skull as he seemingly becomes furious at the fact that the redeemer is doing this weird Shakespearian gig, taking the spotlight away from himself.

Anyway, the crew are dispatched one by one as mentioned earlier. The redeemer looses his third thumb after redeeming himself from the murders. The kid returns back to the lake to sink beneath the watery depths once again. But not before killing the bully who harasses him during the beginning of the film.

This is one of the best pre-Halloween era slashers ever made. I was shocked at how good this film was when I first got around to seeing it back in 2002. It does have its flaws, but not many by comparison to the other trash that polluted the silver screens in the 70's and 80's. It has gained some popularity as of late, as Code Red DVD plans on putting out a special edition dvd of Class Reunion Massacre. (Although, they've been in the works in regards to a release for three years, or so it seems)

Incidentally, I did an interview with the star of this film which can be found over at: http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk Have a gander!

Jason's got an AXE!

2008-01-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

Lucio Fulci 'At the office'

2008-01-02T15:23:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pictures of The Godfather of Gore (sent to me from his daughter, Antonella) on set during Don't Torture A Duckling for your viewing pleasure. ENJOY!~

If I could be like Mike

2007-12-31T20:21:00.000-08:00

In December, 1982, Richard Delmer Boyer murdered a couple in California, stabbing the husband 24 times and the wife 19 times. Two months earlier, HALLOWEEN II the sequel to John Carpenters groundbreaking HALLOWEEN was released in theaters.
Boyer was convicted on two charges of first degree murder in 1984, but he had the convictions were overturned due to his constitutional rights being broken during interrogation.. This paved the way for his retrial in 1992, where Boyer made some interesting claims. See People v. Boyer, 133 P.3d 581 (Cal. 2006). According to Boyer, he cosumed pcp, speed, whiskey, cocaine, and smoked marijuana on the day of the murders, and when he was at the victims' house, "He felt he was part of Halloween II....Events kept changing speeds, and items inside the house became distorted." -Boyer claimed. A doctor who examined Boyer also testified that Boyer told him in 1990 that "he was 'tripping' at the [victims'] residence, felt like he was in the movie Halloween II, and 'actually hallucinated a man coming at him with a knife.'" On cross-examination, however, the doctor admitted that when he interviewed Boyer in 1982 and 1983, Boyer "did not mention this hallucination."
Boyer's main defense at trial was that he should have been found guilty only of voluntary mansalughter because he was "unconscious" as a result of voluntary intoxication, a valid defense under California law. The trial judge instructed the jury on this defense, but failed to instruct the jury on the legal definition of "unconsciousness," which extends to those "who are not conscious of acting but who perform acts while asleep or while suffering from a delirium of fever...." (Defense counsel did not ask for such an instruction).
Last year, the California Supreme Court affirmed his convictions, and I think that it acted correctly in doing so. Boyer raised a lot of issues on appeal, but I'll only address two. First, the Boyer claimed that because his confession violated his rights, his statements to doctors in the early '80s (where he didn't mention the hallucinations) were inadmissible as the "fruit of the poisonous tree." The court found that this doctrine did not apply because this evidence did not come from subsequent police investigation, but instead was evidence voluntarily compiled by the defendant himself such that its exclusion would have "a negligible deterrent effect on police misconduct." Id. at 618
Second, Boyer claimed that the court erred in failing to instruct the jury on the legal definition of "unconsciousness" The court, however, found that "[n]o rational jury, having heard the trial evidence and an instruction permitting it to find that defendant killed while unconscious, would require further instructions to realize that it could accept defendant's hallucination claim as one of unconsciousness

A special thanks to....

2007-12-30T14:41:00.000-08:00

Hysteria-Lives and his name is Justin.

Only a handfull of people (as of the present) will be reading this, but it's the thought that counts. But, we all know that's not the case on Christmas. We're all getting tired of socks and cologne, but where are the simple thank yous? Well, here's one.

This one goes out to Justin Kerswell of .http://hysteria-lives.co.uk/. The guy is almost soley responsible for turning me back to the beloved slasher film. I watched scary movies constantly as a kid, but not until 1998, when I first started to surf the web, did I stumble upon Justin's site -and it all started from there. I've read 'almost' every review and interview on his site. Some of the best, well-rounded and truthful reviews of the slasher film on the entire net.

I used to be part of a very large (now defunct in content only - The domain still exists with a whole different presentation) horror themed website, and just so happened to have a few extra interviews lying around. Since they didn't have a home, and since some of them were slasher themed, I asked Justin if he would put them on his site. Sure enough, he did.

A helluva guy I tell ya! If you like slashers, don't go anywhere else but Hysteria-Lives. It's the ONLY place to go for your slasher fix. So, in a nutshell, thanks Justin. Thanks for all your hard work and sincere dedication to the genre.

The Final Friedrich

2007-12-29T00:16:00.000-08:00

The Final Terror - Campsite Massacre - Three Blind Mice - Carnivore - Bump in the Night -

It seems as if The Final Terror has more aka's than Puff Daddy. It's quiet the shame, really. The Final Terror gets a lot of flack due to the low bodycount and high survival rate. Nevertheless, this isn't a review for The Final Terror, but an update on the southern talking, mushroom popping, dope smoking, ex-Army guy, 'Zorich', who runs the show when the killing starts. John Friedrich 'Zorich' seemed to drop off the face of the earth after TFT was released. There was all kinds of speculation as to where this prominent 70's and 80's rising star may have ended up. He supposedly died in the 80's. He then was supposed to be Ken Wahl's live-in gardener. But, thank goodness none of that was true. The co-star of The Thornbirds, The Wanderers, and The Boy In The Plastic Bubble is is alive and well, living in New Mexico with his family.

Below is a recent pic of John Friedrich during his speech in Hawaii in May 2007. Accompanied with the pic is an article on Friedrich and his willingness to step back in front of the camera ofter 25 years. Enjoy!

"If John Friedrich wants to revive a once-flourishing acting career, he's on his way. At the University of Hawaii Tuesday night, the youthful-looking 49-year-old attracted a crowd to analyze clips from his movies and unearth tidbits about major stars in the 1970s and early '80s. He hinted at his reasons for leaving Hollywood more than two decades ago and confessed his desire to return to what he considers "an unfinished chapter" in his life.
Sitting next to facilitator and UH professor Marc Moody and wearing gray slacks, a black shirt and the requisite lei, Friedrich shared behind-the-scenes stories about the acting process and working with some of Hollywood's biggest names in a stream-of-consciousness style that drew the audience from one anecdote to the next.
The peak of his career was the role of Frank Cleary in "The Thorn Birds" with Richard Chamberlain, Jean Simmons, Barbara Stanwyck and Rachel Ward. "'The Thorn Birds' was like you had finally gotten into the Ferrari," Friedrich recalled of the 1983 miniseries. "The level of acting was substantially higher. It's one of my great memories. Richard was one of the reasons I became an actor," he said of Chamberlain, whose work on the stage first inspired Friedrich.
The part had been offered to Friedrich's good friend Brad Davis, a household name at the time. "They were looking for a star, and I was not at that level yet," he said. But Davis ("Midnight Express") refused the plum role, insisting Friedrich would be better. The two had become close on the set of the iconic cop show "Baretta" and the movie "A Small Circle of Friends," Rob Cohen's ill-fated directorial debut.
Friedrich also recalled his brief time with Lana Turner and considered Stanwyck and Turner "a dying breed, just royalty. They really had a presence or a charisma that I haven't seen since. You can't not look at it."
An amusing story arose from the set of "Thank God It's Friday," about a dinner with Donna Summer. "So you sing disco songs?" he said to the mega-star at the time, who answered incredulously, "You really don't know who I am!" A friendship with Debra Winger also blossomed during that film. Later, Winger often called while shooting "Urban Cowboy," worried that nobody on the set liked her.
John Travolta traveled with an entourage even when he and Friedrich filmed "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble." But Friedrich said Travolta told his assistants to leave when it was time to shoot a scene, and focused intently "so that working with him was an absolute pleasure."
Friedrich got his start in 1975 at age 16 with Robert Blake on "Baretta." The rebellious teen left home the moment he started making a living as an actor. "My life took a 90-degree turn from that point," he said. "I got a good agent, and my ability to get work really took off."
Ambitions to attend Yale faded as offers flowed. He could go to college any time, his fellow actors told him. Consequently, he never went, something he still regrets. Had he attended college first, "I think my ability to last in the business would have been greatly enhanced."
When viewing clips from his movies in sequence, his range is especially evident in his ability to master accents totally unfamiliar to him.
For example: the role of Joey, an Italian kid from the Bronx, in "The Wanderers," a 1979 flop with Karen Allen that became a cult classic. Friedrich, a self-described kid from the San Fernando Valley, recalled that he'd never even visited New York City until he got the part.
"Those were just a terrifying first few days," he recalled, feeling sure the director would fire him. "I cried in the bathtub on many occasions."
Despite his impressive performance, shooting turned out to be a struggle. To make matters worse, the movie disappeared from theaters in about a month.
After "The Thorn Birds" and "The Final Terror" in 1983, he moved to New Mexico, met his wife and started a family, worked as a financial consultant and settled into what most people might call a normal life.
Gradually, evidence that he should consider reviving what he'd left behind began to emerge.
When "The Wanderers" was re-released on DVD two years ago, director Philip Kaufman publicly appealed to Friedrich to get in touch with him.
"Did I call him?" Friedrich asked the audience, laughing. "No!"
Asked what inspired such a dramatic departure, he answered, "Life happened." He indicated that his psychological state during a less-than-ideal youth was "tied to my ability to express myself as an actor; I came to the party because I liked the mask. This became more untenable as I matured."
But the fire never died. "I thought I could get the actor out of me, but I really couldn't," he said. Recently, he returned to the stage, playing the Donald Sutherland role in "Ordinary People" in an Albuquerque theater. About this time the unexpected letter from Moody arrived, inviting him to Hawaii.
"How do I reconnect with these talents and these gifts?" he asked rhetorically.
The first step, he's discovering, is to say yes."

John Friedrich at a speaking engagement in Hawaii.

Antonella ''daughter of Lucio" Fulci Interview

2007-12-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

The 'Godfather of Gore'. We've all seen at least a few of his films. He's only one of the most prolific directors of his time. Lucio Fulci could pull you in like no one else. Sadly, we lost him back in 1996, but his daughter (Antonella) is alive and well and more than willing to discuss her father with us here at The Stupid. Hope you enjoy!~

The Stupid: How did being the daughter of such a controversial figure in the Italian/American horror industry play a part in your younger years?

Antonella: When my father shot Zombie, I was already 19 y.o, and for us, it was just another film. If you think that my father had already shot about 40 films as a director and had written about 90 as a screenwriter, you can understand why. My father had a job like any other father, the only difference was that his 'office' was a set. When I was a kid, in the 60's, the words 'let's go say hello to dad at work' meant going somewhere where a bunch of wonderful people were playing a game and joked with meand bought me ice creams . I loved it, and thought that my dad was the luckiest guy in this world, cause his job was having fun with his friends. I don't think that, if he could decide, he'd like to be remembered for his horror movies even if, as a professionist, he surely did the best about the matter. After all, he had 30 years of carrier on his back. I must say I don't like it too, cause I find it very limitative. To shed some light on my horror background a little: One of the first films that ever gave me nightmares was 'The Gates of Hell'- The scene where the lady vomits up her intestines is pure art in my book! I am curious to know, what was the first horror related experience you ever had?Good scene indeed, and functional for the mood of the film. The first time I saw my father shooting a 'horror' scene I was very young, 12 or 13 I think. I went to 'visit dad at work' on the set of 'Don't torture a Duckling'. We were in a small real cemetery in Abruzzo (a region of central Italy) and my first vision was miss Florinda Bolkan, and I still remember how beautiful she was, with the longest black hair I'd ever seen, sitting on a chair and happily chatting with a guy that was fixing little tubes full of a red substance on her skin with some plaster. While I was still staring at that awesome 'creature of the wood', the guy started modeling a horrible scar on her shoulder, and I became curious to see what would happen next....There were guys around there, with plastic chains in their hands, familiar faces that I had seen 'playing games' with my dad since when I was a little kid, so nothing frightened me until then...But when it came to shoot the scene of the brutal killing of the 'Maciara' everything changed. It was so real! Their faces changed, those harmless plastic things really seemed deadly weapons, that false scar kept bleeding tomato in front of me, and I felt strange, because I somehow understood that I wasn't scared by the chains or by the fake blood, but by what was behind that scene. When my father said 'cut!' the villains and the victim started joking and laughing as always, but lately, when I saw the movie, I understood that my fears were related to something that my father always repeated to me. He always said that the most horrible things in this world come from ignorance and bigotism, and as they were both well represented by that scene, my mind had gone beyond the false chains and the tomato.....

The Stupid: As is probably obvious to you, many movie critics wrote Lucio's films off as being barbaric and lacking vision. I personally couldn't disagree more and consider him a master at delivering 'atmosphere'. How did it make you feel to hear such things about your Father's work?

Antonella: I think that they probably have seen the wrong movies. As I said it's impossible to judge my father's work only from his horror movies. If it goes on like this, his fate is to be misunderstood. If you could see all the beautiful comedies he's done and written, and all the different kind of movies he has made, you'd see that there are many good horror directors and only one Lucio Fulci! :)))))

The Stupid: I understand that you were a special guest at 'Cult Con 2002' of November of last year in Tarrytown, New York. Could you maybe give us some background on who was there and maybe share a mini experience you had while attending?

Antonella: I was in Sleepy Hollow-Tarrytown 2 years ago for the 2000 edition of the Cult Con. It's been mostly a great experience for me, I met a lot of very nice people, and a couple of them have become my dear friends. Plus I feel that New York is my second hometown. Me and Valentina, mr. Deodato's girlfriend, were the only girls of the gang (I'm 42 now but please let me call myself a girl once more), and I had a lot of fun with all the Italian bunch. There I had the chance to meet many american hardcore horror fans, all great guys, and even if I think that some of them make a little confusion between fiction and reality they've been truly exquisite. The touching side of the story is that sometimes I felt 'watched'. You know when you feel someone's eyes right on you? Well, most of the times I turned back and saw a guy staring at 'the daughter of the Godfather of Gore'. Everytime that it happened, I would have liked to go there, introduce myself and say: 'Hi guy, I'm Antonella, nice to meet you', just to show I was nothing special.....

The Stupid: As is obvious to any Fulci fan, your Father didn't start off his directing career with the horror genre. I understand that he has a few spaghetti westerns and comedies under his belt. Do you have any idea why Lucio transgressed from the direction of light-hearted material, to the the macabre world of gore and death?

Antonella: The producers offered him to shoot those kinds of movies, and probably he showed up so good in making them that the producers, or better let's say The Producer a.k.a. Fabrizio de Angelis, a genius in my humble opinion, understood that he had a winning horse by the hands. They became collaborators and good friends, and together made great stuff. Behind the scenes, the making of those movies was a fun and a pleasure. With a wizard of the lights like Sergio Salvati, cameramen like Franco Bruni and Maurizio Lucchini, make up artists like De Rossi and Maurizio Trani and all the other wonderful people there, you can imagine that it was heaven, for my dad. Unfortunately, even when Fabrizio de Angelis stopped producing his movies, his name has been typecasted into horror genre, and italian genre cinema started to fall down the hill. I hate the fact that some people may start to know Lucio Fulci from film like the ones he just did for money, like Demonia or Zombie 3, that he only directed partly. I can't really disagree when someone says that my father has made crappy movies, cause they've just seen those ones, but it hurts....

The Stupid: It was brought to my attention that you are a very big 'American' horror film enthusiast as well. What is your favorite 'American' horror film and why?

Antonella: Actually, I'm a big fan of 'unusual movies' and a John Waters and Divine's true worshipper. Horror is a genre like the others, for me. There's good and (terribly) bad in it. Anyway, there's a recent enough American movie that terrified me, and made me fall in love with it. It's 'Requiem for a Dream' by Darren Aronofsky. I consider it a horror film with a touch of genius. There's fear, there's gore, there's hallucination, and the sensation that you are somehow part of the story. At the end of the movie, I was petrified on my chair, feeling that I was Sara, and Harold, and Marion, and that other guy (wonderful actor by the way), all at once. What I'd just seen was the nightmarish side of everyone's everyday life. My father would have loved it so much! Ironycally the title of one of his best short stories, that's been published on one of his books is 'The killer of the dreams'. I've also had a crush for 'The Blair Witch Project', so hard that I wrote a book about it that went very well, but that's another story....

The Stupid: I understand that a hardcore Lucio fan named Mike Baronas is in the process of publishing a biography on your Father. I would imagine you played a part in the making of the book. Can you maybe give us a little information on the book and when it will be released?

Antonella: As you've probably understood, I don't think that a horror fan could be the right person to write my father's biography. I really appreciate the passion that one may put in such a thing, and am grateful to every single Lucio's fan, but to speak about my dad so that people may really know him, one should dig deeper, so as always I put a big distance between me and these projects. I had problems, in the past, with people who wrote for horror magazines, and with some 'wish I was a writer' people who put out bad books and articles about my father that only helped to typecast him. I'm not saying it could happen again, but sincerely I prefer not to be involved with these things. The only book that gave me a big satisfaction was Stephen Thrower's 'Beyond Terror'. Actually there's a book that I'm supporting, soon to be published by an Italian author, Paolo Albiero, that's the most complete Lucio's biography you can imagine. The author, a professor in psychology at the University of Padova, spent 5 years collecting material and interviewing all the people (some of them are not with us anymore, unfortunately) that had an impact on my father's personal life and carrier. The result is so awesome that reading it I, myself, sort of reconstructed parts of my family life that I had missed. I'm glad that now the readers will have a choice. Not only books about Lucio's carrier in the horror scene, but also books about Lucio, that was a more interesting human being than most of his horror films

The Stupid: I would have loved to have visited the set of any of Lucio's films (preferably New York Ripper) so I could have experienced the magic of filmmaking first hand. Did you ever get to visit the set of any of his films? And if so, could you maybe share an experience with us?

Antonella: You're lucky cause I've been in NY during all the making of The Ripper. A nice anecdote regards Howard Ross, the guy with the amputated fingers in the film, and the nicest and gentlest person you could ever meet. They had to shoot the scene where the guy is found dead with his head wrapped up in plastic. The make up artist had done a great work on his face, so Renato (Howard) had the idea of making a joke to the hotel clerks. He went down the hall in full makeup, with all the false rotting skin hanging around his face. But the clerks said nothing, looked him normally in the face, took the room key and politely greeted him. He got very disappointed by that at first, but then we looked each other in the face and started laughing so hard that the make up almost fell down.......That was more or less a typical situation, in the making of a Lucio's movie....

The Stupid: When it came to the films of your Father, some of his ideas were marvelous. I would imagine that being around your Father after a long day of shooting, he would sometimes 'bring his work' home with him. Do you have any ideas where Lucio came up with some of his nightmarish visions? And if so, can you elaborate just a little bit?

Antonella: Questions like this make me more motivated in realizing a project that I have in mind, a documentary about my father. The title will be 'Gimme some truth', and it will be a 'Lucio in his own words' thing. It will include some family movies shot by him in the 50's and 60's and other amazing stuff. Anyway, about your question: 'No, the 'nightmares' stopped when he said 'cut!' then we all went back to our lives, that were very happy at those times. A filmaker is mostly an illusionist, he can make you believe he's having nightmares while he's making wonderful dreams.

The Stupid: I don't think many people realize this, but Lucio authored a few books in his time. Can you give us a little information on this?

Antonella: They're two collections of short stories and memories. The first one is called 'Le lune nere' (the black moons), the second 'Miei Mostri Adorati' (My Adored Monsters). They're both beautiful. They've never been translated in English but, who knows? I have to say, that being a Fulci fan, I tend to enjoy all of his horror films. I'm sure you have a favorite of his as well. Just curious, out of all his films, which do you enjoy most and why?Don't Torture a Duckling, cause every character of the movie is a good fellow and a monster at the same time, and for the reasons I've explained before. And all the wonderful comedies he co-wrote in the fifties with 'Maestro' Steno (Stefano Vanzina), a person that he idolized and that taught him almost all he knew about filmaking, when my father was his assistant director.

The Stupid: Before we close, I would like to say that to most of Lucio's fans, he is remembered as being the 'Godfather of Gore', but to his beloved daughter, what words would you use as a rememberance to describe your famous Father?

Antonella: He was a natural born entertainer and the funniest person I've ever known. Every day with him was a 'happening', and you could never imagine what he could invent next. He was a cinephile and a jazz music big fan. He taught me that if you have a passion, an interest, nothing can be stronger than you, because in every situation, even in the worst ones, you'll have a film to watch or a song to listen to, that will help you overcome the bad times.

Sisters of Death 1972

2007-12-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

Above is the new dvd cover (That has absolutely nothing to do with the fucking movie) for the 1972 drive-in flick, Sisters of Death. I'll stick with the old vhs artwork, personally.

In the same vein as Ten Little Indians, Sister's of Death does the 'invitation' thing some years before Paul Lynch's Prom Night, and even before Class Reunion Massacre from 1976. Sorority girls are holding their initiation for two inductees that involves a pistol/murder reinactment in which one of the 'Sisters' would load the gun, place it to the inductee's head and pull the trigger. Of course, the blank bullet is just supposed to make a loud noise and that's it. But, in this case, it splatters the girls brains all over the place and the rest is history. Anyway, it's a few years down the road and the remaining ex-sorority girls receive an invitation and five hundred bucks to attends a 'Sister's' reunion. They are supposed to meet in a designated spot where two guys with a beat-up station wagon (with sheets over the windows) are to pick them up and take them to their destination, where they themselves are to make a couple hundred bucks. After all the girls finally arrive, the two guys drive the girls to their location. One of the guys talks his friend into staying and partying with the girls, and they soon learn they're stranded on the property. (Pussy has been known to get a man into trouble at times.) An electric fence keeps them on the premises while an unknown specter roams throughout the mansion spying and doing away with the girls one by one. Sister's of Death is a film that does a lot of cliché' things before it was cool to do so. The acting is surprisingly good for a drive-in caliber flick. There's copious amounts of cheese that accompanies the actions and dialog of our characters, and a twist ending that I never saw coming. It comes from nowhere. Just who is it that is taking the girls out one by one? Just whose revenge mode is set on high, and what lengths will they go through to extend their murderous rage?

In a nutshell, Sisters of Death could very well be considered one of the first proto-slashers to enter the game. There were other films before it with slasher elements, but not really for the bodycount. Sisters of Death goes for the bodycount, with an abnormally high bodycount for 1972. Well worth the buck you'll pay for it no days in one of those bargain bins.

I learned a few things from this film as well. Apparently, in 1972, it wasn't abnormal for two guys to drive a beat-up station wagon around with curtains over the windows. You should never take a shower while someone is roaming around the house killing people. Never forget and run into a live electric fence. Joe Tata does the electric boogie and he didn't like it. Old vengeful men keep Gatlin guns in their attic.

Satan's Kitchen Knife

2007-12-27T21:56:00.000-08:00

Why would anyone like Satan's Blade? - The rare obscure 1982 slasher film that's as hard to find as a sober Bobby Brown. I first heard about this flick on the mighty Justin Kerswell's monstrocity of a slasher site, Hysteria-Lives!. I'm a sucker for a film set in snowy regions. Since it was also a very obscure title, the slasher completist inside me ventured out and finally picked up a pristine copy.

It's a wonder there's any copies still around, since Tom Bongiorno (Tony - the sensible hero of the film) admitted to actually strolling all Blockbusters and Hollywood Video stores upon its initial video release in 1984, destroying every copy he could find. He was so embarrassed at the final print of the film, he actually walked out on a mindnight showing at a theater the director rented trying to promote it.

Basking in the cheesy glory of Satan's Blade is the closest thing to Heaven this earth has to offer. You have a bunch of fun loving women and two couples who are holed up at a ski-resort for a good time. Just the night before, two women were brutally murdered after a bank heist went bad.

The group of girls reluctantly take the cabin and we're off to the races. I'm sure there should have been a lengthy police investigation, but I guess police officers in Big Bear, California get lazy in the Winter time.

The whole film has this depressing power that grabs you and won't let go. You're on the verge of suicide as the depressing landscape and even more depressing synth score blares in the background.

You have disco-Al who is the absolute fucking king of one-liners. There's Tony, an aspiring lawyer and his wife, who, more or less is quiet the big breasted prude. There's also Al's wife which is nothing more than an excuse for somebody to get stabbed.

Let's not forget our scantly clad, big breasted victims in the cabin next to the two couples. Stephanie knows Tony is married, but this doesn't stop her from wanting to make it with him. Tony eventually fights off her advances and the two become 'friends'. Oh, how sweet.

We get a million shots of someone walking from a mile and a half away while this lonesome depressing score just bounces off the scorched spots in your brain until nostalgia turns from being your friend, to being your friend in suicide. I wanted to find an old beat up 1985 Buick and drive down to the building where the old Maloney's used to be and pretend I was six again.

The first twenty minutes of this flick is quiet grande, if not exceptionally spectacular. There's the usual no-bounce character development that let's us mainly know that Al loves to eat. In the morning. After getting drunk. In the evening. The godamn man likes to eat, and the director and writers make sure we know this.

The murder scenes are quiet disturbing, almost giallo-like. The killer wears a pair of yellow gloves and stalks the premises. When the action gets started, the film is elevated from a carboard piece of paper, to a colorful carboard cereal boxe with puzzles on the back. It gets interesting, especially the murdered girls writhering for thirty seconds in pain while the camera lingers above them. There's also a nightmare sequence that's truly horrifying.

Don't get me wrong, Satan's Blade is a bad film. Everything about it is bad...from the bad 80's wardrobe, to the point and shoot direction, to almost everything else. This still shouldn't stop one from seeing it. It's one of those golden peanuts in all the turds we've seen in the past. The one we've always overlooked. This is the cheesy slasher fan's dream. There's also a good twist ending I never saw coming. Give this movie a chance. I'm sure it would lend you a hand if it had one.

Then and Now

Stephanie Leigh Steele (final girl 1981)

Watching Christmas Slashers

2007-12-27T19:44:00.001-08:00

Christmas finally went. Too commercialized for me. The thing for me these days is to actually sit inside and watch Christmas slasher movies. I know. It's a shame really. A young man like me and a young woman like my wife, sitting home on Christmas, not spreading cheer, wasting money and not getting drunk. Instead, we smoked a lot of pot and watched Bob Clark's classic 'Black Christmas'. Simply the best seasonal, if not the best slasher film of all time.

Sorority girls get obscene phone calls and end up murdered one by one. 'Black Christmas' is very atmospheric with an eerie ambience hovering about the large, seemingly empty house. This film can also boast of spinning off a lot of other classic slashers - 'Halloween', 'When A Stranger Calls', just to name a few. 'Silent Night Bloody Night' used the creepy phone call idea a year earlier in 1973.

A great slasher film.

I find it a tragedy that Bob Clark was killed in a car accident alongside his sone when they were hit by a drunk driver. What a waste. I'm sure Clark would have given us another great movie or two.